


The Many Faces of the Author

by BrilliantLight



Series: A Multiverse of Authors [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Multiverse, The Portal (Gravity Falls)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27020425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrilliantLight/pseuds/BrilliantLight
Summary: Typical. The portal is typical. To literally... like... no one. Are you telling me that in the entire Multiverse every Author ends up in their exact universe? Or that they're all 'typical' Authors? For some universes Stanford Pines isn't even the Author!These are documentations of the times the Portal was opened, and some of the stories behind the incidents. There will be tears shed, arguments fought, and even some death. But in the end it will all be okay.Mostly.
Series: A Multiverse of Authors [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972009
Kudos: 21





	1. The Blue of Magic

Stanford Pines had had... An interesting day, to say the least.

A second trip to the accursed Nightmare Realm had occupied most of it, filling those few hours he had spent there with blood, sweat, and to be honest, tears as well. Then, when victory over the most dangerous being in the Multiverse was right in his grasp; there was the portal. A portal he was ninety-nine percent sure he'd warned against opening again.

Why couldn't Stan just read his warnings?

But just as he stepped out of the portal, (a sense of duty more than respect for his brother) something felt... Off. Like the world had been turned dark and twisted. Pale blue light illuminated everything. It made all of Ford's surroundings feel sick, strange, and completely ethereal.

It was pure blue. The blue of magic. 

The first thing he noticed besides the light in this world were the plush chairs lining the back wall. And... Was that a chain? Before he could think too long about it he knew that it was. There was a chain inside of his basement. Ford's goggle-covered eyes followed the chain's path and he saw... Something else that was just so wrong. 

Huddled in a corner, whimpering and sitting in a blue puddle, was Bill Cipher. But... This Cipher. This triangular creature... He was blue. That was strange. And, of all the different sounds Ford had heard Bill make, the sound this Bill was making was a first. This Bill was crying.

The triangle turned a huge, sad eye towards Ford, and immediately something changed in his demeanor. "Oh no..." 'Bill' said, holding a chained hand up to his crumpled top hat. His eye half filled up with tears, and he gulped, however that worked. Ford stared at him as the demon (if you could even call this... thing that) said, "Oh... Oh my... Miss Mabel will..."

The sound of a door sliding open cut the sad triangle off. And for some reason he wasn't quite sure of yet, Ford was immediately thrust into battle mode.

Through the newly opened doorway, their silhoutes spreading across the floor, breaking off the eery light in long stripes, came three figures. A girl, a boy, and an older man. Stanley, and two children Ford didn't recognize.

But something was wrong. Any anger Ford had possessed while traveling through the portal had long since faded. He wanted to do something. He simply wanted to... to... What did he want to do? Stanley and the boy were dressed in nearly matching suits, and the girl had a very short dress on, all nearly the same shade of blue as the light. But where the children seemed to be comfortable and confident in it, Stanley looked like he was ready to vomit at a moment's notice.

The children's matching cold blue eyes scanned Ford's black covered figure. The girl raised her brown perfectly-plucked eyebrows and turned to the man. His face, though still vaguely sick, was hard, an expression Ford had never seen, or wanted to see, on Stan. What was wrong with this place?

"It finally worked." The boy spoke. He had a quiet voice, but one that instantly absorbed all the energy inside the room, and made Ford want to listen to him forever, and to make sure he got as far away from the boy as possible. It was enchanting, like a snake tamer's. Before Ford could ask the boy what he meant, a new voice cut him off. "Yes. It will be fun to have a new playmate." The girl added, her voice sounded colder than the boy's, but commanded more dominance. Ford hated every part of this place.

When Stan spoke, it broke something inside of Ford. Stanley, who Ford was so used to hearing as a strong fighter, the one who had defended him at even a young age, who had shouted about how hard his life had been, who had called Ford out without even letting his voice waver, this same Stanley ...sounded broken, like a wind-up toy that had been turned to far. He said only a few words, but Ford felt his words shake him, "May I speak to him now?"

Ford clenched his hands into fists. These children, literal children (for some reason Ford knew it was them) had broken Stan and Bill. This was not okay.

The girl scanned Ford one more time. "No." She said quietly. "I want to see something..." She took a single step forward, and Ford let his fingers instantly go to his jacket. He fingered his gun, even though it felt wrong to want to use it on someone so young.

That's when he saw the amulets. And it was too late.

The girl noticed what he was doing, and suddenly the blue stone on her headband began to glow, along with the boy's tie, which held a matching one. Ford felt the chains before he saw them. They matched Bill's, and he understood why the triangle appeared so sad as the strong metal wrapped around his wrists and began to drag him down to the ground.

Without thinking twice he pulled out his gun and blasted the end of the blue magic-metal, effectively cutting it off. He forced his knees to stay straight and swung his free arm. The broken chain flew forward as he didso, and there was an audible slash as it caught the girl on the cheek.

For a second no one moved. Then the girl raised a white-gloved hand up to her wounded cheek and brought her bloodied fingers in front of her face. Ford used this momentary distraction to dash forward and reach for the boy's tie. The chains on his wrists tightened, but he had already swung his free chain and had wrapped it around the children's legs.

He grabbed the tie, and smashed the amulet under his booted foot, blue smoke billowing from it as Bill gasped, Stan's eyes widened, and the children shrieked.

"You." The boy hissed, his voice not the velvety sound Ford had heard earlire, and with a good cause. "Will pay for that." One of Ford's chains melted off of his wrists, the unbroken one, and he was once again slightly freed. Unfortunately for him, the children weren't playing anymore.

The girl's eyes were filled with a kind of evil light that Ford had only seen in Bill Cipher. The boy reached into his blue suit coat and pulled out a short dagger, and Ford instantly stepped away from the children.

"Dipper dear, what shall we do?" The girl asked quietly, without the slightest hint of fear. "Do you think the Journal will help?" The boy twirled the knife in his hand without even looking down at it. "That sounds delightful Sister." With his other hand, he pulled out a very familiar book, and, not for the first time, Ford inwardly cursed himself for writing it.

"Let's see... How about Dark Warts?" The boy, Dipper, suggested, earning him a smug eye roll from his sister.

"If we wanted to play..." The girl said, and the two of them began to step towards Ford, cornering him between them and the portal. "But I don't... Dipper, I want to look at him." She spoke to her brother in a sharp command, one that he rolled off of himself like a duck with water. He only smiled, a smile that didn't meet his blue eyes. "You're the one with the amulet now..." He said, his voice flowing with poison.

Ford continued to step backwards, his eyes flicking between the children. The girl grinned, and Ford could almost swear that her teeth were pointed. He barely registered his mask getting forcefully tugged off of his face, and the girl smiled a bit wider.

"My, my," she said, and her manicured hand wrapped around his goggles. She stepped even closer to him, and his back pressed against the portal. "You are a handsome one. A true Silver Fox..." 

Everything about this was wrong. There was a sickness in the air. It was permeating everything, it was seeping into the cracks between molecules. Ford pressed himself as far into the unyielding metal as far as he could. His mind was racing at a million miles an hour, yet it felt like it was going at a snail's pace. Suddenly he felt something warm in the small of his back. The children were getting closer, the girl was grinning at him, and... Oh... Could it be?

Ford's free hand reached behind himself, and his fingers closed around the jelly-like rift.

He suddenly ran forward, the children had to have been stunned by his quick dash. He barreled past them, with great difficulty, his chain now felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, but he had to... Get to...

He thrust the rift into Bill's newly freed hands. "Stretch it out!" Ford ordered him, and he pointed his gun at the end of the triangle's chains. Bill gulped again, however two-dimensional, mouthless triangles gulp, and did as Ford said, he was too scared to protest. Ford focused on firing at the chains, and tried not to think of the chain that was cutting off blood circulation to his hand. Bill grabbed onto both sides of the rift, and began to stretch it, just as Ford pulled the trigger, and Bill's chains broke.

Before anyone else could say or do anything, Ford grabbed Bill, and jumped straight into the newly widened rift Falling right back into the place he'd left... Could it only have been a few minutes ago?

Ford and Bill tumbled into the Nightmare Realm, and Ford had to slap a hand over Bill's eye to keep him from shouting.  
The other Bill, Yellow Bill, didn't know they were there, and Ford could see him, or at least his back. Blue Bill was whimpering, and Ford whispered to him gently. "Hey... It's okay. I need you to be quiet for a minute. Then the scary stuff will go away." Blue Bill nodded, and Ford moved his now damp hand away from the triangle. He kneeled down on one knee. 

They were in a pink building, it sort of looked like something from Rome, if it wasn't for the fact that it was fuzzy. Ford reached behind him, and pulled his Quantum Destabilizer from off his back.

Yellow Bill didn't even know what hit him.

There was a horrified scream as the Lord of Chaos was ripped apart molecule by molecule, then the Nightmare Realm was strangely quiet. Ford didn't stick around to hear Bill's friends' reaction. He grabbed Blue Bill's hand, and dragged him through another wormhole.

\------------

"You ... You saved me."

Ford sighed, and slid down to the ground of the new dimension they'd entered. He sat down on the brown grass, leaning against an orange tree. He stretched one of his legs out, and piled his chain underneath his other knee. He glanced up at Blue Bill, and couldn't help an expression of concern.

"Yes I did." He said, pulling a pin out of one of his pockets. "You're welcome." At his words Bill's eye grew even sadder, dropping from Ford's face to the ground around them. "That... That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!" He said, a tear welling up in the bottom of his eye, looking like it's splash onto the grass at any moment. "Thank you... Thank you... You're so nice... And..."

Ford tugged at the first blue link, the cuff had loosened after they left... Wherever they'd been. But the chain was still too tight to slip off of his wrist. He looked up at the triangle, and he almost wished he hadn't. The look Bill was giving him made him want to cry. "I'm Stanford Pines." He said, looking back down at the chain and changing the subject entirely. The triangle sniffed (how was that possible?) and mumbled, "I'm Will..."

Will. A different Bill. One who was a complete softy and called himself Will. That's just great. Ford bet he was probably just as powerful as Bill, just didn't use it. Or maybe... The kids had used him... Ugh. Ford hated that place almost as much as the Nightmare Realm.

"Well Will," Ford said, just as he noticed that there wasn't a keyhole on the cuff. "I suppose we're stuck together for a while..." Will didn't seem to mind. He looked at Ford's wrist, and hugged his flat body tightly. "A... Anything for you Stanford."

Ford tried not to flinch, the last time he'd heard that voice say that... But... He'd have to get used to it.

"Ford, just Ford." He told the triangle, who nodded. "Thank you Ford..." Will said, and picked up his own chain. "We'll get rid of these... Right?" Ford nodded, but he wasn't sure how they'd accomplished this, it wasn't like they could break the second amulet...

"Do you need anything?" Ford asked Will, who was staring sadly at the ground. Will looked up at him, his eye watering. "A hug?" He asked, barely over a whisper. Ford sighed, and held his arms open wide, and Will barreled into his chest, sniffing and dangling the blue chain onto Ford's matching one. 

What had Ford just gotten into?


	2. Just Dipper and Mabel

Soos Ramirez had made himself a promise. While he was still alive and capable, nothing on Earth would hurt the kids. Dipper and Mabel Pines meant a lot to him, almost as much as Melody. Maybe even more. He trusted them more than he trusted their Grunkle Stan, something he had never thought would happen.

So when it looked like the kids were in danger, he literally jumped to the rescue. Stan had started this portal thingy, one that the Author of Dipper's Journal said could destroy the world. If this mysterious guy was to be believed (and Soos was pretty sure he was) Stan could have destroyed the world. Stan, who Soos had always looked up to. Stan wanted to... What did Stan want to do?

But Mabel had trusted Stan more than Soos and DIpper, and she had let the portal open up.

Once he regained his balance Soos saw a man walk through the portal. Along with a... blue glow? Before Soos could say anything Stan claimed that the man was his brother. The Author of the Journals. The Author/Man took his mask off, and he had to be what Stan said. He looked almost exactly like him.

Then Stan-2 saw the kids. And he had the most peculiar reaction. He drew a gun out, and pointed it right at Mabel. 

\-----------------------------

"You're here! After all these long..." 

Ford had stepped through the portal, taken off his mask, and looked around the room. His black attire was suddenly pulled back, and he reached a hand into one of his pockets and drew out a weapon. A gun. 

Then he aimed for Mabel. 

Stan's ears began to ring, he could feel his heart thumping in his chest. Ford was... Mabel... No! He had just gotten one family member back, he couldn't lose another one! Mabel was just a kid! Her eyes were wide, staring into the barrel of the futuristic weapon that was glaring at her like the man holding it.

His instincts kicked in, and he yelled, "Ford! What are you doing?!" 

Ford didn't respond for a moment, his eyes only narrowed. The look on his face was so cold it made Stan's blood want to freeze. He hadn't seen Ford this angry since... 

"Why would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my entire future!?" 

Stan knew where Ford's anger for him came from. But Mabel? What on Earth could she have done that would make Ford hate her? Stan didn't get a chance to say anything else before Ford snapped, "Quiet Stan." His voice was hushed, and there was a venom that permeated it. "Stay behind me." 

Stan was filled with confusion and fear. Ford was still glaring at Mabel, who was paralyzed with terror, and Stan didn't blame her. For some strange reason there was a protective gleam in Ford's eyes, and Stan somehow knew that he thought that Mabel was a genuine threat. 

Suddenly, Dipper reached forward and grabbed Mabel's limp arm. Ford's eyes snapped from Mabel to the boy, and the gun wavered between the two of them. For a second that felt like an eternity no one moved. Ford was now holding his free arm halfway behind him, like he was shielding something. He obviously thought that Dipper was a threat as well. 

"Ford..." Stan said slowly, "Please point that gun somewhere else." Dipper slowly moved Mabel's arm towards his chest, and his eyes were trained on the weapon that had gained everybody's attention. If Ford heard Stan, he didn't heed him, he simply continued to keep his line of fire right between Dipper and Mabel's heads, not wavering in the slightest, or offering a hint of remorse. 

Then Soos, who had recovered from the initial shock of... Well, everything that had just happened, thrust his question-marked body in between the kids and Ford, holding his arms out wide. 

"Step aside." Ford hissed, and just as Stan was going to respond, a small voice that was both familialand totally forgein came from behind Ford. "Um... Ford there's something..." 

"Not now Will." Ford snapped, taking his eyes briefly off of Soos and glancing under his outstretched arm. "I need to focus." 

Whoever this 'Will' was, he didn't say anything after that. Dipper pulled Mabel close to him, and turned the two of them around, Dipper's back facing Soos. All Stan could think was 'This is exactly the first impression I wanted the kids to have of Ford.' 

"Hey, Ford." Stan said, taking a tentative step towards his brother. "Calm down, it's just Dipper and Mabel." 

Ford laughed slightly. Really it was just a small catch in his throat and a raising of his shoulders, but Stan wanted to think that it was a laugh. "Just Dipper and Mabel? Just Dipper and Mabel!?" Ford snapped his head over to look at Stan, and he drooped the gun down slightly, now aiming for the dot at the bottom of Soos' shirt. "Do you know what they've done?" Ford cried, his voice filled his bitterness and slight hysteria. "They have all of Gravity Falls wrapped around their little bloodstained fingers!" 

Stan couldn't help but widen his eyes. If Ford was talking about Dipper and Mabel... They couldn't be the ones he was thinking of... If Ford pulled that trigger... "Ford, listen. Dipper and Mabel aren't..." 

"Ford? I need to tell you something." Ford glanced behind him again, back at the 'Will:, and nodded once, not moving his hands. "They're not the ones you saved me from."

Ford froze, his eyes widening just like Stan's. He pointed the pistol at the floor, and asked quietly, "They're not? How do you know?" A faint blue light appeared on Ford's right side, and Stan could just make out a tiny sliver of a form standing behind Ford. There was an odd familiarity in the blue, like Stan had seen it in a dream... 

"I just do. I can feel it. Can't you?" The tiniest edge of an eye peaked out from between Ford and the portal, and Stan could almost make out the creature's shape... Ford scowled, and slid his weapon back into it's holster, but didn't take his hand off of it. "No I can't." Ford told Will, "Ever since Dimension {Jπ}0 I've been rather disoriented..." 

The blue creature nodded shyly, and seemed to notice Stan staring at it. It shrank a bit, and ducked entirely behind Ford. "Plus," he added, placing a glowing hand on his arm. "Look at Stanley. He's not mine." Ford nodded, and squinted his eyes at Stan, like he was trying to remember who Stan was. "I didn't think of that..." He whispered, eyes turning ever so slightly softer. 

He suddenly pulled the gun back out. Soos gasped and took half a step back, covering the entirety of the kids. Stan raised his arms, and was about going to shout something, but Ford's next action cut him off before he began. 

Ford threw his gun to Stan's feet, and held his hands up, widening his fingers. 

He was surrendering. 

\-------------

So like... Mabel had been in a lot of death-defying adventures before (case and point: Gideon-bot), but she wasn't expecting to go through another one today. Then the Author of the Journals came through the portal, and pointed a Sci-fi Lazer in her face. Not cool. Then Soos (bless his heart), had jumped to save her and Dipper again, shielding them with his own body. 

Now Mabel really needed to make him a Thank You sweater, and maybe some dinosaur-shaped cookies. 

After a few minutes, which felt like forever, Soos took a step back, and the sound of a loud 'Clang!' filled the room. Soos seemed to relax slightly, and suddenly Stan was there. He put his strong arms around Dipper and Mabel and pulled them into a hug, whispering "It's okay, it's okay..." 

Mabel wanted to believe him. But... Could it be? She heard the voice of the Author, he was explaining something, but Mabel couldn't really tell what he was saying. Then Stan let go of them, and turned to place a hand on Soos' shoulder. Soos stepped warily to the side, and Stan grabbed one of Dipper and Mabel's hands, bringing forward to stand on either side of him. 

"Ford," he said quietly, adressing the Author. Mabel got her first good look at the man, who, just a few moments before, was ready to kill her. He looked almost exactly like Grunkle Stan. He was in a dark coat that came down past his knees. He had a glint in his eyes, the same one Stan had gotten when he was protecting the kids from the zombies. The Author, 'Ford', was scanning Mabel and her brother, with a slight touch of sadness. 

"You're right." He mumbled, glancing a bit to his left. "They're not yours." A blue glow appeared on his left side, first a tiny tip, then more blue, then an eye became visible, then floating in the air, right next to Ford's waist, was a blue triangle. But not just any triangle... Bill Cipher. 

Dipper gasped, and Mabel didn't blame him. After the sock incident... Let's just say that Mabel was not looking forward to trigonometry. 

Ford placed a hand on Bill's side, and the triangle pushed itself towards him, reaching small black hands around Ford's larger than average ones. 

"I'm sorry." 

Mabel blinked, Ford, who had come with a second Bill Cipher, the crazy triangle, and had been ready to kill her, was apologizing to her. "I thought you were someone else." Ford said, looking between the two younger Pines. "What I almost did was unacceptable, and I apologize." 

Stan pulled his arms forward, forcibly bringing Dipper and Mabel a bit closer to Ford. The two of them shared a look, Dipper's eyes were angry, but Mabel's... She sort of believed Ford. She looked back at Ford, and despite what logic told her, she said, "I forgive you." Dipper jerked his head towards her again and hissed, "Mabel!"

Ford sighed, and slowly stepped towards the three other Pines. He held a hand out to Mabel, who released Stan's and walked up to Ford. She grabbed his fingers and shook his hand firmly. "Wow! A six-fingered handshake. That's a full finger friendlier than normal!" Mabel exclaimed, not really feeling her normal enthusiasm. 

Ford smiled shyly at her comment, and continued to hold her hand long after the shake was done. "I'm just glad you don't have an evil magical amulet." He told her, and she raised her eyebrows. "Magic amulet? Like the one Gideon had?" Mabel asked, glancing a little at Bill, who had gasped. "Gideon?" Ford asked, dropping her hand. "Gideon Gleeful?" 

"You know him?" Mabel asked, Bill had closed his eye tightly, showing off an awful red scar that crossed the entirety of his eyelid. Mabel had the suddenly urge to hug the triangle, but instead focused on Ford. 

"Not personally." Ford answered, glancing back at Bill. "But Will did, sort of." Mabel nodded slowly, "Did he go to jail there?"

Ford looked at Mabel like she'd gone crazy, then his shoulders relaxed and he asked quietly, "Did he hurt you?" Mabel shrugged, "Not too badly, I mean, I sometimes have nightmares that I'm still dating him. But his robot didn't hurt me too badly." 

Ford nodded,glancing back at Will. "And Pacifica?" 

Mabel began to explain the relationship between the Pines and the rest of the town, the entire time Will was growing smaller and glancing nervously between the occupants of the room.

Stan and Ford had finished explaining everything that had just happened, Mabel and Soos had found Stan's story to be very sad. Dipper's reaction to Ford's was breathless amazement. The very idea of alternate universes opened up so many questions and ideas. Both terrifying and amazing. 

"So there's a universe where Mabel and I are evil?" Dipper asked, glancing at Will, who was practically burying himself into Ford's coat. The triangle was obviously uncomfortable with the situation. 

"Yes," Ford said, placing a comforting hand on Will. "That's where I rescued Will from." 

Stan nodded, and tried to flash Will a smile, but he only succeeded in freaking the triangle out. Will ducked almost completely into Ford's jacket, only his top hat was visible. "Poor Will." Mabel said, and that made Ford's coat start to shake. Ford looked like he was having a hard time not laughing, and he pressed a hand over the space Will was hiding in. "I'd suggest not saying things like that." Ford said, "The other Mabel..." 

Mabel gasped. "I'm sooo sorry Will." She said quickly, "I didn't mean to scare you!" 

This would take some getting used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn't tell, this is the sequel to the last chapter. Poor Mabel and Dipper will probably have nightmares of their Grunkle trying to kill them for weeks after this (if they even get nightmares... do they get nightmares? Does anyone get nightmares in this universe?). 
> 
> Anyway, thanks EverOnAJ and 4 guests for the kudos!


	3. Sleepytime isn't just a tea

Stanford Pines had seen his brother sleeping many times.

But to have that be what you were doing when your brother came back from the multiverse? That was just something most people would say that you simply didn't do. Nevertheless, there Stanley was, lying face-down on the ground, probably unconscious.

Scratch that, Stanley definitely was unconscious, Ford had kicked him in the shins in order to prove that. He had groaned slightly, but didn't wake up. Ford stared down at him, a frown on his face, and contemplated Stan's condition. 

He'd be fine. Probably.

With his brother incapacitated, Ford got a chance to look around the room before wiping all traces of Stanley Pines from off of the Earth. And what he found surprised him just as much as Stan's state of being. Lying in nearly the same position as Stan were two children, and a man-gopher thing, all looking slightly roughed up, but otherwise healthy... And fast asleep.

That was weird.

After a few moments of watching them the answer suddenly popped into Ford's head. The Gravity Anomalies! Of course! They must have knocked Stan and these people out. A pelethora of actions Ford could take passed through his mind, but he finally chose to make sure the kids were alright first.

He took two steps past Stan and sat the boy up first, taking his blue and white hat off of his fluffy brown hair. The boy mumbled something, but didn't give Stanford any resistance when the older man picked him up and laid him in a comfortable position against the back wall. His arms fell against the wall in an unflattering angle, but Ford didn't bother changing his position after that. 

Ford stepped away from him and moved over towards the girl, who looked so similar to the boy that they just had to be siblings. At first he was only going to repeat his actions with her, but just as he was going to check on the rodent-man she her fingers snaked out and grabbed on tightly to one of Ford's hands, a small smile playing on her chapped lips.

Curse Ford's too-large heart.

He remained there kneeling for a minute, the girl lying next to her brother. Her tiny fingers curled loosely around Ford's rough and calloused ones. Ford breathed steadily in and out, not used to being touched like this for so long, and he attempted to match the rising and falling of her golden key.

For a moment, he wanted it to be like this. That he could have a quiet life with a family. That everything would be fine... That everything could be young and innocent, 

A grunt from Stan forced him out of his daydreams. Slowly, reluctantly, he cautiously slid the girl's hand from his, and brushed her hair from her sleeping face. Standing up, and turning to face his own brother, who was still lying on his stomach on the hard ground. Ford contemplated leaving him like that, but he also didn't want to have to deal with a grumpy Stan on top of everything else. No, Ford would make sure that he could yell at an at least a fully conscious Stan.

Ford walked over to his brother, who mumbled something about a... Table? And slung the man up onto his shoulder.

Stanley had gotten heavier, but Ford had also gotten stronger. It didn't take Ford much time to lay Stan against the wall, and when he was finished Ford took a step back to look at his handiwork.

The children had their heads leaning against each other, and Stan had already slumped in their direction, as if the kids were magnets pulling him in. To be honest, the kids did look an awful lot like Stan... Ford would have to ask about that when they were all awake.

Now for the rodent-person... Ford stepped over to the only person in the room that didn't appear to be related to him, and rolled the man-child over.

The man mumbled something about pizza, and without a second thought Ford decided just to leave the question mark-ed man as he was, he less he touched him the better.

With nothing left for him to do the reality of his situation came over Ford like a tidal wave. There was no way that Stan could have created a Dimensional Vortex Neutralizer on his own, meaning that he could have caused a rift in space-time, something that Bill would just love to get his two-dimensional hands on.

After double-checking that the other occupants of the room would be asleep for a while, Ford set out to search for any possible rifts. While he was at it, he sorted out the rubble, piling stones on the left side of the room, and twisted pieces of metal on the other.

It took him about twenty minutes, but his eyes eventually caught a swirling glint, close to the portal's center. Under other circumstances Ford would have thought it was beautiful, but he was one of the few people in this dimension who knew what it could cause.

He quickly emptied his canteen, making a small puddle on the otherwise dry floor, and trapped the jelly-like rift inside, vowing silently to build a safer containment unit later.

Storing the newly filled bottle back inside of his black coat, Ford sat down, and resigned himself to staring at his brother and the children. 

Stanley was wearing the suit their father had given Ford all those years ago. His hair was, as always, more managed than Ford's, lying down near his skull rather than sticking up like Ford's fluffy mess. Ford noticed a few scrapes on his face, and a bandage wrapped around Stan's hand, along with a tear in one of his sleeves. Ford silently wondered what had happened.

He turned his gaze to the girl, her eyebrows were pulled in tight, and there was a frown on her chapped lips. Ford had the instinctive reaction of wanting to scoop the girl up in his arms and carry her far away from whatever was bothering her. Without even talking to her he was already becoming attached. Maybe the girl really was a magnet...

The boy was another story. His mouth was hanging open, and there was a glint of drool forming on the side closest to the ground. He looked perfectly content with the situation, not that he knew what that was-

"Sir! We found a secret door behind the vending machine!"

A million alien curses rushed through Ford's head. Vending machine? Was that a person from the government? What was Ford going to do... What should he do... His mind immediately went to the quantum destabilizer slung on his back, but he needed that last charge for Bill... Then he saw the backpack.

He rummaged through the belonging stored inside, most of them completely useless for the situation at hand. Then he saw the memory gun Fiddleford had created decades ago, not even wondering why it was there he plugged in one simple word "PINES" and walked to the hallway on the other side of the door.

Sure enough, three government agents were already making their way towards the portal room. "Sir!" One of the called into his earpiece. "Stanford is here! And he has a weapon!" That's when Ford fired the ray.

\---------------

When Stan came to, he was lying upright against the wall, his shoe-clad feet pointing towards the banged-up portal.

He saw his fez lying a few feet in front of him, and he scrambled to his knees and crawled over to it. Once he placed it securely on his head, he turned around to see where Dipper and Mabel were. They were leaning against the wall too, Dipper's head resting on Mabel's. It was a cute sight.

Wait a second.THe kids were in the basement. Mabel hadn't pressed the button. Stanford was there!... Wait. Where was Ford?

"It turns out that the power surges in Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower..." Was that Ford's voice? Why did it sound like it was so far away?  
Stan struggled to his feet, his head feeling woozy, and took several shaky steps toward the control room. He leaned against the doorframe, holding his head. He hoped he didn't have a concussion.

Just as he crossed the room, the other door slid open, and Stan came face to face with his twin. The two men stared at each other, and Stan hoped Ford didn't see the tears that were welling up in Stan's eyes.

The first words Ford said to Stan after their thirty-year separation was, "You still talk in your sleep."

Stan couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine. Ford had seen him sleeping. Awkward... "Uh... Nice to see you too." He responded, flashing his brother a small smile and rubbing the back of his neck. Without having much else he could think of saying he asked, "So... How's your day been?"

Stanford clenched his jaw, and glanced behind Stan. "Well..." He mused, folding his arms and glancing up at the ceiling. "It all started on my trip to the nightmare realm... That was a disaster." 

Stan froze, his groggy mind trying to grasp at the concepts Ford was speaking of. "Night... What?"

Ford rolled his eyes. "Congratulations Stan, you waited until the perfect moment to bring me back. Right before I saved the multiverse." he watched silently as Stan blinked. "The... Multiverse?" He swallowed, "Is that where you were stuck? I didn't... I didn't know."

Ford sighed, lifting his hand up to his head and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Yes, that's where I was trapped. And there was no way you could know. I hadn't exactly visited the place before..." Before either of them could say anything a small groan interrupted the two men.

"Ugh... My mouth tastes like nightmares..." A small feminine voice said, "Gru- Grunkle Stan?..."

Ford raised an eyebrow, "One of yours?" He asked, and Stan responded with "Sherman's actually." It was finally time for Ford to meet his family.

\---------

"By the way, you all look adorable unconscious." Ford told his groggy relatives, a smile crossing his tired face. "And Stan. I think you'd be pleased to hear that a girl held my hand..."   
Ford wiggled his eyebrows playfully at Stan, who was blinking profusely in the morning light. "And she didn't even shout!"

"Mabel does that..." Stan said, taking a swig of his Pitt cola. "You might want to make her breakfast though... She's a nightmare when she's hypoglycemic."

"I held your hand?" Mabel asked, flashing Ford a confused smile. "That's nice..." She dropped her own soda onto the table, and slumped her head onto the table. "And I'd like pancakes please." She muttered into her sweater's sleeves.

"Me too..." Dipper said, rubbing his head. "Thanks."

Ford smiled. "No problem." He said, and walked over to the stove to cook breakfast.

\--------

Soos, who woke up a few hours later, completely missed the Stans' backstory. He didn't mind though... That much...  
"But our boss/employee relationship Mr. Pines!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm up. 
> 
> I decided that this chapter was adorable enough to share now, and I hope you liked it! 
> 
> This was originally written in a period where I was writing on my phone, so this is a bit more bare-bones than most of my other chapters. It was also a prompt from one of my followers/friends? I don't know how our relationship works.


	4. Relavity Falls

At first the portal had lifted Mabel up, then tossed her back to the wall, next to her brother, Grunkle, and Soos. The portal's vortex itself was beautiful, a swirl of rainbow and white that actually was inspiring her, she should make a sweater or picture that looked like it. Her head sort of hurt, and her stomach rumbled. It made her think, when was the last time she had eaten? Her uncle rubbed his head, and Mabel heard her twin ask, "Who is that?"

His answer was short and heartfelt. "The Author of the Journals. My brother."

Mabel had two Grunkles. Her second one being Grunkle Author. Not that Author was the Author's name, but still. What else was she supposed to call him right now? Her first Grunkle stepped past the three stunned people in the room, and sure enough, the Author took his mask off, revealing a face that looked almost identical to his. It was a tad bit thinner, and Mabel could barely see any part of his forehead, but the resemblance was uncanny.

"After all these long years of waiting, you're actually here!" Her Grunkle exclaimed, holding his arms out wide. "Brother!"

The Author rushed forward, and tackled his brother to the ground, spinning him around to face the kids and Soos. Mabel's uncle gagged a bit as the Author put him in a chokehold, then released him, letting him fall to the ground.

"Worst hug ever." Her Grunkle muttered, getting to his feet and turning around. "What on Earth was that for?" There wasn't even a second of silence befor her other Grunkle snapped, "This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal." not even answering Stan's question. Mabel glanced over at her brother, who was staring blankly at the two men in front of them. "Didn't you read my warnings?"

Her Grunkle scoffed, and Mabel looked back at him. "Warnings, shmornings. How's about a little thanks for saving you from, I don't know, some sort of sci-fi bangs dimension?" The Author hissed, and folded his arms, "Thank you? You're the one who pushed me in in the first place!"

His brother rolled his eyes and folded his arms too, "Here we go again," He muttered. Mabel was super confused, the Author didn't appear to have noticed anyone except for him, and she had no idea what was going on in between the two of them. All she knew was that she wanted it to stop. 

"Hi, yeah, Mabel here," she said, stepping past her brother and raising her hand. "What on Earth is going on here?!" The Author looked at up at her and seemed to finally see the three other people inside the room. "Stan... You didn't tell me there were children here..." he said, holding one of his hands up to his mouth in a sideways fist, and coughing politely. "And some kind of living marshmallow?"

Mabel was kind of surprised she had never thought of Soos as a marshmallow yet. How had she never noticed? She was still confused, and she watched her Grunkle say, "They're your family Constellation. Shermie's grandkids."

The Author's eyes widened, a fanboyish grin covering his features. "I... Have a niece and nephew?" he asked, mostly himself. He stepped up to Mabel and kneeled in front of her, "Hi. Or greetings... Wow, I have so many questions."

Mabel shook the hand he extended out to her, and she replied with, "Yeah, I have some for you too. Why did my Grunkle call you 'constellation'?" The Author sighed, and lifted his free hand up to his forehead, pushing his bangs back and revealing a birthmark.

A birthmark that looked exactly like the Big Dipper.

\------------

"You're a star-headed weirdo, and he's just a dumber, sweatier version of you. And you're lucky you two have each other, because neither of you will ever make any friends!"   
Dipper didn't hate very many people. But that Crampelter... How dare he even live on the same planet as them. Of course, Dipper would probably never be brave enough to voice his own opinions. Luckily he didn't have to. He had a twin. 

"Oh yeah! Well you're a stupid dumb-dumb!" Stanley yelled at Crampelter, who rolled his eyes, "Whatever Dork." 

Crampelter and his cronies spun around and walked away. Stan called them names all the time, but they never seemed to mind. Stan held his fists against his sides, and seemed to notice Dipper's somewhat solemn expression.

"Hey, don't let them get to you," Stan said, patting Dipper's bare shoulder. Dipper sighed and muttered, "I'm not, so..." 

"One of these days, you and me are gonna said away from this dumb town!" Stan said, wrapping his arm around Dipper's shoulders. "We'll hunt for treasure, get all the girls, and be an unstoppable team of adventurers!" Dipper's face couldn't help but break out into a smile. "Are you absolutely sure?" 

"One million percent Noodle Arms." Stan said, with absolute confidence, pointing one of his fingers towards his brother's chest. "Let's go home."

\----------

"I... Wow. You're the Author of the Journals!"

Dipper stood up from shaking his niece's hand. Standing a bit closer to the wall was a young boy, his hands holding the sides of his face. Normally, Dipper wouldn't have a problem with this, but there was something... Off, about how his nephew looked. Just what was it?

"You read my Journals?" He asked, pulling the first one out of his black jacket. The blue cover looked a bit musty, and Dipper wondered if it had seen sunlight since he'd given it to Stan. "Oh, I haven't just read them," The boy said, bouncing slightly on his heels, "I've lived them!" Dipper hoped he hadn't lived every part of them, there were several things he wished he had never seen or heard of. A certain triangle for example...

"It's such an honor to meet you... Sir. I'm Ford." The boy said, holding a hand out to Dipper. That's when Dipper noticed it.

His nephew had a six-fingered hand.

"Fascinating. Were you born with them?" Dipper asked, shaking Ford's hand just like he had done with Mabel's. Ford blushed (he'd most likely been bullied just like Dipper had) and scuffed his feet on the ground, "Yeah, I was..."

"But that's what makes him awesome!" Mabel cut in defensively, reminding Dipper of another twin he knew, at least when he was a kid. She threw her arm around her brother's shoulder, effectively cutting off the second handshake. "And he's perfectly normal for him!" Dipper smiled, but it was tainted by a tinge of sadness. He'd known these kids for all of two minutes and already he was finding parallels. Stupid brain.

"Don't worry, I never thought anything different," Dipper said, showing Ford his own abnormality. "Trust me, I understand what it's like to be teased for looking different. I was only commenting on how rare your condition is... That sounded weird." He felt like facepalming, Ford looked very uncomfortable. "Um... Sorry... I was just interested in finding out... I think it's interesting... And weird, but in a good..." He groaned and held a hand up to his forehead.

Ford looked at the Journal that Dipper was still holding. "You're much better at writing than talking, aren't you?" he asked, and Dipper was grateful for that explanation. "Yup." He answered, and then the three of them stood there awkwardly.

\----------

"Um... Awkward much?" 

Dipper stood at the prom, his blue suit covered in pinkish-red punch. Why couldn't he just talk to girls like they were people? Why did he say 'your face is good'? What was wrong with him? 

"Yeah..." He said, looking down at the ruined material. "Think Mom'll be ticked I ruined the rental?" Stan laughed and threw his own cup of punch on his pink suit. "I think she'll be ticked at both of us. We can always say that it was a freak punch storm." Dipper stared in shock at his brother. Ther were no words to describe how he felt right then. "Why did you do that? You know we'll both be in trouble now." Stan shrugged, "Couldn't let you have all the fun, could I Constellation? You looked cool. Temperature-wise that is."

The two of them sighed, and they watched all the other teenagers begin to dance. Stupid stereotypical prom. Stupid normal people. 

"Wanna go see if we can talk with Carla?" Dipper asked, and Stan winced. "Um... Yeah, about that... She's not my girlfriend anymore." he said, and the two of them walked over to the drinks table. "What do you mean? I thought the two of you were perfect for each other." Dipper said, watching his twin refill his disposable cup. 

Stan took a sip of punch and said, "Yeah, she broke up with me for this hippie guy. Word of advice, if you see a hippie charging at you claiming you ruined his car, push him off a cliff." 

Dipper raised his eyebrows and asked, "Do I even want to know?" Stan shook his head, "Nope. Ooh, look, mini-quiches!"

\----------

"Now tell me Stan, does anyone else know about the portal? Or this room? Anyone at all?"

Stan hadn't heard that name in thirty years. Hearing his brother say it was a relief. He hoped he could find a way that everyone else could start calling him that as well. Stanley Pines hadn't been pulled out of the closet for thirty years. It should hopefully be easy to slip back into him. Probably.

"No, just us." he said, then the events of the day clicked in his mind along with everything else. He'd been so nervous that Mabel or Ford would press the button. He'd been so excited to see Dipper again. "Also... Maybe the entire US Government." 

Dipper's eyes widened. "The... What!? You let the US Government know about..." He hyperventilated for all of two seconds, then he pulled a pen out of his pocket and began to click it rapidly. Then, after a moment of squeezing his eyes shut he began to chew on the top of the blue pen. "Looks like you didn't..." Stan said, just as Dipper broke the pen and sighed. "Nope." he muttered, "It's okay... It's just the Government of one of the most powerful countries in the world... It's fine... We have a while before they find this room..." Dipper tossed the pen aside and wiped the ink off of his chin. "We just need to stay down here and think of a plan!"

Dipper spun around, and Stan had a chance to look at his niece and nephew. Ford looked a mixture of anger and excitement. Mabel was a bit confused, then she said, "So... Looks like we're going to be stuck down here for a while... Who wants to explain their entire mysterious backstory?!"

Stan was about to say something, when Dipper cut him off with, "Yes. I have a few questions about all this myself Stanley."

Ford's mouth opened, then he spun towards Stan and glared at him like he was insane, "Who's Stanley? You're Ma-" His jaw snapped shut, and he turned towards his sister, "Mabel! The Pines that was in the newspaper... Stanley Pines was never dead. Grunkle Mason is actually Stanley!"

Mabel looked at Stan, then at Dipper, "Wait. What? You're not Mason?"

"You took my name?!" Dipper said, spinning around. "Stan! What have you been doing all these years?!" Stan winced internally, and externally. His brother's anger was something he had never liked, especially when it was directed towards him. He'd be lucky if Stanford and Mabel ever trusted him again. He'd be especially lucky if Dipper could forgive him. He had   
messed up, and now it was time to come clean.

"Look, I know I have a lot of explaining to do." He said, holding his hands out towards the four other occupants of the room, who were closing in on him. "It all began a lifetime ago... 1960-something..."

\----------

"Pines twins to the Principal's office. Pines twins to the Principal's office." 

That was strange. Not for a Pines to be sent to the office, but for Stan and Dipper to be called. Normally it was just the former. Stan sighed, ever since high-school had started Dipper had turned into a Mr. Goody-nerd shoes. "What is it this time?" he asked, looking over at his brother, who shrugged. 

As they grabbed their passes and walked down the practically barren halls they talked a bit. "D'you think it was the wads of gum I left on the cafeteria tables? Ooh, or the bats I let into the kitchen. Or the..." Stan looked at his brother just before they stepped into the reception room. Dipper looked like he was going to jail. There was sweat on his brow and a look of concern. Like if he stepped into the office he'd be exiled from the country. 

"Hey, Star Boy," Stan said, shoving his shoulder playfully. "It'll be okay. Most likely they thought one of us did something that I did and you'll get off scot-free. It'll be a piece of cake."   
Dipper nodded but gulped. He opened the door without another word and the two of them stepped towards the main office. 

"Not you, him." The receptionist said, pointing at Dipper with her nail file. Stan sighed and sat down on one of the chairs. Hey, it was still an excuse to stay out of class. Dipper walked past him, and saw his parents sitting in two of three chairs in front of the Principal. Oh man... This was bad... He'd be expelled and he'd be forced to live on the streets. Oh man... 

"Now Mr. Pines I'd like to speak with you very frankly, if I may." The Principal said as Dipper took a seat. "You have two sons, one of them is incredibly gifted. The other one is sitting outside this room and his name is Stanley." 

This was bad...

\----------

"And it has Multidimensional-paradigm theory!" 

Little did Dipper know that that day would change his life, in a number of ways. He'd always been planning on going to a photography college, but the thought of new scientific advancements thrilled him. If he could go to West Coast Tech, get a degree in something mechanical, and a minor in photography, he could do his dream, and help a bunch of people. 

Stan didn't seem to be that thrilled with Dipper's new obsession. He shrugged and muttered, "So what?" 

"So I can learn! This place could help me with a lot of things. I could discover the cure for cancer! Or be the first man in another dimension!" Dipper exclaimed, crumpling the edges of his pamphlet. "This is a great opportunity for me!" Stan wanted to retaliate "Well it's a horrible opportunity for me", but he kept quiet. He had never seen Dipper this excited before in his life. This was Dipper's new dream. A dream without Stanley. Without their boat. Without... Everything Dipper and Stan stood for. Dipper would be a millionaire, while Stan would scrape barnacles off the machines on the dock. Dipper would travel the world, and Stan would stay in Glass Shard. 

"And remember, if I don't get it, I'll do the treasure hunting thing," Dipper said, punching the side of Stan's arm. "Wish me luck!" But Stan didn't want him to have luck. He wanted Dipper to not get the thing. He wanted... But he also did want Dipper to get it. He... What did he want? 

He watched him go. For the first time his mind was blank. This was bad...

\----------

"So I lied to everyone. The town, your parents, even you kids." Stan said, looking down at the ground. He was afraid to make eye contact. He could feel Dipper's and Ford's eyes lying on him, and it felt like four nails being pounded into his conscience. He didn't know what to say after that. He had ruined Dipper's life three times now, not to mention tiny things he'd done all throughout their childhood.

"All this time, you were just trying to save your brother," Ford said, deadpanned. He looked at Stan and there was a look of understanding in his eyes. "Grunkle Mason... Stan. Grunkle Stan, I'm so sorry I didn't trust you."

Those words, coming from his paranoid, weird, crazy nephew, those words were what made Stan feel like ripping his heart out. After everything he had done he still had his family. Even Ford could trust him. Stan nodded, and answered, "Don't worry kid, I probably wouldn't have trusted me either."

The sounds of the Government agents discovering the vending machine broke the five of them out of their thoughts. "Oh, no, the Government agents!" Ford said, leaping to his feet. "Oh man... Mabel, you don't think you could grappling hook all of them in the face. Do you?" Mabel's eyes lightened, then dimmed again. "No... They'd get one of you before I could... But... We could blast them in the face with something else!" She pointed at Ford's bag, and his eyes widened. "Of course!" he cried, "Mabel, that's perfect!"

"What's perfect?" Dipper asked, watching his nephew reach into his backpack and pull out a gun-shaped object. Stan briefly wondered where his nephew had gotten that from, but he figured it was just another Ford thing. Probably from Dipper's Journal.

"This is perfect!" Dipper said, taking the gun from Ford's hands. "Come on, I have a port for it. Thanks Fidds. And Ford."  
Yup. Definitely from Dipper's Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, this is my own AU (I have a lot of those). The gist of it is if the twins were switched, like in Relativity Falls, but they were also mismatched. Hence why Dipper is Stan's twin and Mabel is Ford's. There's a few more chapters in this 'series' if you will (I like to have fun with it), so those will be coming shortly.   
> I hope you guys enjoyed this! Thanks to everyone who's left Kudos! I'd love to hear your thoughts, and prompts are always accepted. See ya!  
> -BrilliantLight


	6. A new kind of stupid

"Grunkle Stan... I trust you."

Mabel threw her arms up, the anti-gravity that the portal made pulled her up, too far away from the button for her to press it. She could hear Dipper yell at her, blood pounding in her ears, and the countdown voice call out in its robotic tones, "Three... Two... One..."

She felt her body get warped. It felt like a million spiders were crawling all over her. Hot spiders that almost burned her, but didn't quite. She was blinded by a bright light as hot as the spiders for a moment, then she opened them again, and blinked in almost complete darkness.

It looked like she was in space. Stars swirled around her, but their patterns looked almost nothing like the ones she had grown used to seeing in the night sky.

She realized that she was still floating, but her mind was too foggy to think that it was scary, or awesome. She saw Dipper floating in front of her, along with some pieces of rock. Stan was next to him, and Soos on his other side. Dipper was blinking at everything, looking like he was going to freak out. Soos was freaking out, chewing on his fingernails and hyperventilating a little. And Stan was staring at something behind Mabel, his mouth wide open.

Mabel twisted her body around, like she was swimming, and spun around to come face-to-mask with a tall man. A new man that was close to Mabel, so close that he could probably reach a hand out and touch her. But he wasn't looking at her.

He was staring at Stan.

He suddenly dashed past Mabel, and it took her a second to turn back to look at the other humans. Before Mabel could react the man had a hand wrapped around Stan's neck. WIth a start Mabel realized that he was choking Stan.

"You idiot!" The man yelled, and Mabel shuddered, she tore her eyes away from the two men and looked at Dipper, who had done the same. "Do you know what you have just done?!" The man added, just as Stan began to struggle in his grip. "You... You..."

Stan's eyes were tearing up, he had both hands wrapped around the wrist of the one that was squeezing the life out of him. He opened his mouth, but only a strangled cry came out. Mabel could hear the blood pounding louder in her ears, drowning out almost every other sound. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want Stan to die, but something was terribly, horribly wrong.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the black-clad man released Stan, who floated limply in front of him, gasping deeply. He stared up at the man, who ripped his mask off. "Ford?" He choked out, "You're here... You're here..."

'Ford' hissed. "No." He spat, "You're here."

Stan blinked, "Wh- what?" He looked past Ford at Mabel, who shrunk back slightly. "What do you mean?" The Ford person held a hand up to his temple, and then he dropped his arms to his sides. "Congratulations Stan." He said sarcastically, "You have just invented a new kind of Stupid."

Stan looked over at Dipper, who was just staring at the two of them. "I... I have?" Ford laughed, a laugh that was slightly crazed, yet sad. "Yes Stanley, you have." He said, folding his arms. "You have literally just destroyed our universe."

Mabel blinked at the two men, her hair swirling around her face and obtruding her vision. The small bit of their conversation that she could hear ringed in her ears. Destroyed.... universe? 

"You what?!" Dipper yelled.

Stan's eyes widened so much they looked like they were going to surpass his glasses. His mouth dropped open and he rubbed his neck. "I... I what?" He whispered, staring at Ford.

"You have just destroyed a universe." Ford repeated. "You have vaporized every living thing in our home Dimension, stranding the..." He paused for a second and mentally counted all the other people floating around him. "Five, of us in the Multiverse."

All Mabel could do was stare

\----------

Dipper's already angry feelings exploded in his chest. Stan had destroyed the universe! Stan had built a portal and vaporized everything that Dipper loved! Stan had the audacity to live while everyone else didn't.

Dipper couldn't help himself, he flung his thin body towards Stan and began to do his best to beat the old man up. He landed blow after blow, not really registering that Stan wasn't even trying to stop him.

Finally, Dipper stopped. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he squeezed them shut so he didn't have to look at the man in front of him, who, other than looking slightly disheveled, remained nearly the same.

Stan's face was utterly crestfallen, he stared at Ford, who stared coldly back. He winced as a quiet voice came from behind Ford, "M- Mom and Dad..?" Mabel choked out, "Candy? Grenda? Wa- Waddles?" Her eyes brimmed with tears, and she began to shake violently. "Mom and Dad... Waddles..."

Of course it wasn't just Mabel who was upset, Soos bit his lip and added, "Abulita? Melody?" His voice was so soft, and so broken, as he said quietly, "Reggie? Wendy?"

Dipper and Stan didn't say anything. Stan stared off at the quiet rush of stars surrounding them. There was no sign of their world, no remnant besides a few rocks and...  
The first Journal. Stan's throat burned on the inside and outside. He could still feel his twin's six-fingered hand wrapped around it. Still feel the fear that Ford implanted in him.

Then what he had done snapped in place. Stanley Pines had just murdered everybody. He was like that one general guy from Star Wars... What had he just done?

"Ford..." He said quietly. "Ford... I... I didn't know..." He bit his lip and bowed his head, "I wasn't trying to... It's all my fault." His brother opened his mouth to say something, but Mabel cut him off. "No." She said, sniffing and rubbing under her nose with her pink sweater sleeve, "It's my fault too... If I had just pressed the button..."

Ford spun around, and Mabel got to see his face, even if her tears blurred everything she was seeing. Ford looked almost exactly like Stan. There were a few dissimilarities, but there was no doubt in Mabel's mind that they were related...

Everything I've worked for, it's all for this family!

\----------

Ford had been having a lovely day. Finally, after thirty years of living in the frustration that the Multiverse provided, he would accomplish his one goal in life, or die trying. Even if everything wasn't going perfectly, going at all was more than enough for Ford. 

And then Stanley. Wasn't that how it always was? Then Stanley came and messed up Ford's life. 

Next thing Ford knew there was a loud shout, a violent 'earthquake' (if you could call it that) and Stanley and a few others tumbled into the Nightmare Realm, pushing Ford and them all through a nearby wormhole and stranding them... somewhere in the Multiverse. Thankfully somewhere safe, but still out in the middle of nowhere, where Ford couldn't even see the closest universe. 

It took Ford all of five seconds to figure out what was going on. And to say that he was mad would be a severe understatement. He was ready to kill his twin, reanimate him, and kill him all over again. If it wasn't for the fact that there were children there. 

Ford floated up to the girl, and placed a hand on her shoulder. The very notion that someone of her age could be responsible for such an action was something that Ford was, unfortunately able to believe, but someone from his own dimension wouldn't be one of those people. 

"Do not blame yourself. It is more my fault the portal..." He winced slightly, and the girl stared dully at him. "You are a child," Ford opted for instead, "And you did what a child would do. I should have known better..." She thankfully nodded, then hugged herself tightly, tiny tears starting to make their way down her face. Ford looked uncomfortable, and he patted her shoulder gently.

But he didn't have to worry about his limited knowledge of physical comfort. The boy swam/floated up to the girl, and wrapped his arms around her from the side. Ford gazed down at them solemnly, but didn't say anything.

He spun around, and glared angrily at Stan, who was just floating stilly. If it hadn't been for his blinking Ford might have thought that he'd died of shock.

"I suppose you can join us," Ford said, grinding his teeth together. "At least until you can go off on your own." Stan looked at Ford with a confused expression on his face, "Join you?" He asked quietly, and he flinched when Ford sighed deeply at his brother's stupidity.

"Yes Stanley, join us. I've been traveling the multiverse on my own for thirty years, I believe I can teach the four of you to do the same." Ford held a hand out to his brother, who shakily let him pull him towards the kids. "And I also believe you have a number of people to apologize to."

Stan let go of Ford's hand, and held it up to his face. The girl had her face buried in the boy's jacket. Who was himself was glaring at Stan. Stan bit his lip, fighting his own desire to cry as well. "Kids..." He mumbled, and Mabel sniffed and looked up at him. "I... I'm so... So so sorry..."

the girl nodded, and squeezed her brother's arm tightly. The boy still glared at him, but there was more sadness in the eyes then before. Stan turned around to face the rodent-man, who wasn't crying, but looked like he might at any moment. "Soos... I'm sorry..." Soos nodded, but didn't meet Stan's eyes.

"And Ford..." He choked out, but his doppelganger shook his head. "I know Stanley." Ford said, folding his arms. He didn't want to hear his brother's half baked apology, it was already sounding cliched just listening to his other ones. "Now... There is a rift about twenty clicks that way." He pointed just above Dipper and Mabel's heads, "Just try to keep up."  
Ford floated over to the kids, almost as naturally as walking. He held a hand out to the girl, who shrugged out of the boy's embrace. She grabbed his hand and exclaimed quietly, 

"Whoa... A six-fingered handhold. That's a full finger sweeter than normal."

Ford smiled down at her. He looked up just past them, and reached forward to grab the journal that was floating above Dipper's head. He tucked it into one of his pockets and held his free hand out to Dipper, who shook his head. "I'm good, thanks."

Ford grinned slightly at Dipper, "Hello Good, I'm Stanford Pines."

The girl giggled slightly, and Ford started pulling them in the direction he'd indicated. Her brother (now labeled as Good) huffed slightly, and followed the two of them, not even glancing back at Soos and Stan. "Actually, my name is Dipper... Did you just say Stanford?"

Ford nodded, glancing to his right as Good/Dipper swam up next to him. "Yes I did. It's my name."

"But... Grunkle Stan is Stanford..." Good/Dipper's sister said quietly. Ford froze for a second, his mind racing through a dozen possible senarios, but didn't speak to his twin.

"Actually, my twin is Stan-ley Pines." Ford explained, then spouted out his most concrete hypothosis. "He must have stolen my name."

"Oh." Was all that the girl could say. She looked up at Ford's face, which was gazing intently in the direction he was dragging her in. "So... You just took a Journal..." Ford nodded, "I should hope so, it's mine to begin with."

Good/Dipper froze. "You... Your's? You wrote the Journals? You're the Author of the Journals?!"

Ford glanced behind him, Stan was slinking along with them, and Soos was swimming like a fish, but not a very fast one. "Yes I am... Did you read them?" Dipper nodded, bouncing slightly past the bright stars. "I didn't just read them, I've lived them! I have sooo many questions..." Ford nodded, "And I hopefully have many answers. And we have time..."

Dipper looked like he was going to faint, but he kept up with Ford. "So... Why did you write them?" It was a simple question, with a simple answer, but Ford sighed anyway. "Well, when I graduated from college, I was given an enormous grant for my own scientific research..." He began to explain his twenties and thirties, Dipper's eyes followed his every movement. Dipper's sister was nodding, but she seemed a bit confused.

"But what about Grunkle Stan?" She asked, right before they came up to a huge bright circular tear in the blackness of space. Ford dropped her hand, and reached up to take his goggles all the way off of his head. "Let's go through here first." He said, and handed the mask to her. "This will help keep you safe... Don't ask how I know that." He slipped his black trenchcoat off of his shoulders and handed it to Dipper. "Same for you. The Rodent-man will be fine."

"Rodent man?" The girl asked, slipping the goggles on, "You mean Soos?"

Ford blinked slightly, remembering what his brother had called the being in question, then shrugged, "If that is his name..." He said. "Now... Let's go."

\----------

And thus the Pines family became interdimensional wanderers. Never staying in one place for long. Rumors and legends have been told about them. Stories of the man with six fingers are still used to keep alien children in bed at night, while the brave tales of the Shooting Star are used to inspire others to greatness.

No one really understood why they kept the rodent-guy though...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see... things don't exactly go well for that particular dimension...   
> Stan is guilty. Mabel, Dipper, and Soos are sad. Ford is rightfully annoyed. And everything turns out... awesome/awful. As you do.   
> Ford might call Dipper Good from here on out. I can just see Ford being that annoying uncle, especially when a bit of lightheartedness is needed. Mabel's gonna like it, Dipper won't care either way, and Soos is... Soos. Stan will probably be able to somewhat redeem himself in Ford's eyes, maybe after rescuing him from a monster or something, and they'll spend the rest of their lives on an epic adventure.   
> Just wait till Stan finds Lottocron 9 though...


	7. Gravitivity Falls

00Against all odds I am back. 

To say that I was upset when my twin opened the portal, successfully stopping me from defeating my greatest enemy, and putting our entire universe in danger... Would be the understatement of the century. Of course, as always, there was a reason. Even after our... Separation, my twin would still bend over backwards for me. Even though often I wish they wouldn't. 

Thirty years of desecrating my work and they expect a "Thank you"? Admittedly, I do feel bad for punching her, but still... 

The 'Mystery Shack'!? Why must Mabel do this to me?

\------------

Dipper had wanted to find the Author.

He'd become obsessed with the town he was spending his summer in, and the cause was mainly the Journal. The family aspect kept him grounded... Alright, you got me, the Mabel part kept him... How exactly was he related to these people again?

I mean, just because he and Stanley looked almost exactly alike didn't mean that they had a lot in common. Not to get Dipper's intentions wrong, but there was a line he just wouldn't cross for his twin. Stanley, even after learning that their great aunt wasn't the good person they thought she was, and finding out that she had built a doomsday device that the Author had warned against using, still listened to his stupid heart.

But that's what ultimately led to the Author returning.

And the Author was Grantie Mabel's brother.

\----------  
1960-something 

"Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! You have a thing for Cathy!" 

Ford looked up at his sister from across his math book. He had already finished his homework, but he was sort of bored. Mabel had her head poking up from under his bed in their room. Her brown eyes were full of energy, and they instantly made Ford feel drained.

"Oh no," he said, shutting his book, and turning to hang his legs over the edge. "Last time you convinced me I ended up..."   
"Oh come on, it went great!" Mabel exclaimed, stopping Ford's sentence short. She reached up and pulled herself up to sit next to her twin. "You have to admit that."   
"She literally screamed, then slapped me in the face." Ford said, shoving Mabel slightly away from him. "I don't think that qualifies as 'great'." He watched his with smug eyes as Mabel rolled hers. "Whatever Broseph." she huffed, "But you still like her..." 

Ford sighed, there was no true winning when it came to Mabel. All he had left was sinking to what she wanted. "And you still like Steve... Was it Roberts?" 

"Rogers." Mabel blurted out before she realized that she was blushing. "Shut up." She leaned over towards her brother, "Anyway, what you doing?" It was a simple question, and one that Mabel asked him often. "Taking a break." Ford answered, "My hand's still a little sore..."

Mabel's entire body winced, and she rubbed his arm comfiortingly before saying, "I still can't believe you punched him. I could have handled it." Ford opened his mouth, but didn't say anything, and the two of them sat in silence. "You're always standing up for me, in your own Mabel way..." Ford said, rubbing his left wrist. "Although you could have just left my cast plain..." 

Mabel smiled, her crooked teeth showing, "But sparkles are amazing. You have to admit that your cast was the prettiest one at school." Her brother sighed, but put his arm on top of Mabel's shoulder, "Yes it was... But as you recall, Crampelter..." 

"Can eat a moldy sock." Mabel answered before Ford could finish his sentence. "Can you believe that the creep asked me out?" Ford chuckled, "As I remember, I fractured my wrist after that..." Mabel flashed him a grin, "You're the one who let that happen, I didn't ask you to do that."   
"I know... Want to go do something fun? DD and..."   
"No!" Mabel said loudly, jumping off of the bed and landing with a thump on the ground. "Let's go build the boat!" 

"Of course Mabel."

\----------

"Finally! After all these years of waiting!"

Mabel held her sweater clad arms out towards her brother. She was well aware that she looked very different than the last time he'd seen her, but there was no way he could forget her. She took a step towards him, and smiled her biggest, brightest smile. Trying not to think of her nephews behind her. "Brother-!"

Ford planted his fist in Mabel's cheek. He didn't swing too hard, but it still hurt. And it was the thought that stung Mabel the most.

"Ow!" She cried, rubbing her face with one hand, "That actually hurt!"

"This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal." Ford said, still holding his hand up. He scowled at his sister then asked, "Didn't you read my warnings?!"

"Pff... Warnings shmornings, I just saved you Genius." Mabel said, folding her arms. "Saved you from some weird... Sci-fi sideburn dimension? What's up with that?"  
"Saved me? Saved me?" Ford asked, his voice sounding the slightest bit hysterical. "What? Are you expecting me to thank you after what you did thirty years ago?!"  
"What I did? Why you ungrateful..." Mabel thrust herself towards her brother, her negative emotions that had been building up all day spilling out of her. Ford didn't even let her land one blow, instead he sidestepped her and grabbed her wrists, turning her around.

Mabel's knees buckled, but she still choked out, "Don't expect me to go easy on you... Just because you're a boy!"

Ford seemed to pay no attention to her statement, choosing instead to squeeze her wrists tighter, and keeping her stuck on the ground. He wasn't doing anything that would hurt her, he just kept her from hurting him...

"Hey you big jerk! Leave my aunt alone!"

Ford looked up, and saw a young boy, holding his hands up in fists. The boy looked super familiar, but it was the fact that he was there that worried Ford.  
"Mabel... You didn't tell me that there were children here..." He said, releasing his sister and adjusting his cracked glasses.  
"They're your family Genius. Shermie's grandsons."

Ford's face turned up into a small smile. He seemed to have already forgotten the fight he had just been in already. "I have nephews?" He whispered, then stepped over to Stan and Dipper. Stan looked about ready to punch Ford, and Dipper was stammering in the back, mumbling something incoherent under his breath.  
"Greetings." Ford said, extending out a hand to Stan, who was glaring at him like he was a monster or something. "Do children still say 'greetings'? I haven't been in this Dimension for a really long time..."

Stan looked between Ford's hand and his face. "What am I supposed to do to this?" He asked, earning him a raised eyebrow from Ford.   
"Um... Shake it? Don't worry, my skin doesn't mutate people." Ford pushed his hand more towards Stan, who glanced over to Mabel.

After a nod from his aunt, Stan placed his hand in Ford's, and shook it jerkily. "Stanley Pines." Ford's grin was back, and larger than before. "Stan-ford Pines. A pleasure."  
"Uh-huh, 'pleasure'. You tried to murder my aunt!" Stan said, dropping his hand and folding his arms. "Not cool man."

"I can kill my sister all I want. Goodness knows that she tried to do the same to me a billion times before." Ford answered, "Twins and all."

"Wait." Stan snapped, holding a hand up to his forehead. "You're Grantie Mabel's twin? I have a twin too!"

"It does run in families..." Ford said, but before Stan could say anything Dipper cut them off.  
"You... You're the Author of the Journals!"

Ford looked over at Dipper, and his smile didn't waver. "You read my Journals?" He asked, pulling the first tome out of his jacket. Dipper bounced slightly and exclaimed, "I didn't just read them, I lived them! They... You... I have a billion questions... Oh my..."

Stan jerked his thumb towards Dipper, he rolled his eyes and said, "He totally hadn't been obsessing over them for the past three months..."  
Ford laughed slightly, "It's good to see someone who cares about this kind of thing... I'm sure he'll get over it soon..."

\----------

Caryn Pines had only had a handful of real visions in her life.   
She knew she was having twins right after she found out that she was pregnant. She had sat down one morning and suddenly her vision went blurry. 

She closed her eyes and opened them quickly. Even though the rest of her senses told her that she was still in the kitchen her vision was in an entirely different place. 

She saw two men, kneeling in a clearing in some foreign woods. One had his arms wrapped around the smaller one, and Caryn could see tears spilling down his cheeks. The other man was staring deadpanned in front of him. Like he didn't know what was going on.   
Something told her that those two were her children. Some supernatural force called her. Something was going to happen to them. But they'd be okay. They'd come out as the heroes. 

So imagine her surprise when her second child turned out to be a girl. 

The same force that had showed her the vision this time took over her hearing. She heard four different voices say the same name over and over.   
"Mabel." "Mabel..." "Mabel." "Mabel!"

So that's what she named her. Filbrick didn't really care. Caryn was delighted to have two children of the opposite genders. It would be fun to watch them grow up. Every now and then she'd think of that first vision, but she took it as another fluke. Perhaps a coffee induced hallucination...

\----------

"Ford... What happened to us?"

Ford and Mabel stood in front of the mirror in the upstairs hallway. Ford was in one of his old maroon sweaters, and Mabel had changed into her shooting star one. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, but her matching fez was still in her room.

Ford sighed and looked over at his twin. "We grew up. Stopped needing each other." He answered bluntly, and turned back to the mirror once Mabel frowned. "You might have grown up, but you still need me. I'm the one who did the opposite." She snapped, folding her arms over her chest. Ford scowled down at the ground, and they stood in silence, a tenderness in the air, like at any moment something would break.

"Look, Mabel... I appreciate the fact that you at least tried to do something," Ford's said, looking over at her again. "And... You can stay this way for the rest of the summer, until the boy's are gone... But once it ends, you give me my house back, you give me my life back, and this whole 'Mystery Shack' junk is over forever. Got it?"

Mabel's already angry expression became shocked. She stared open-mouthed at the man next to her, who was looking down at the floor, counting his fingers.

"Fine!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "Be like that! On one condition..." Ford turned his head to look at her once again, his own expression one that was as hard as rock.

"You stay away from the boys. I don't want them to be in danger!" Mabel said forcefully, shoving a finger in Ford's slightly stunned face. "Because as far as I'm concerned, they're the only family I have left."

She turned around, and stormed towards the stairs to head to her room. Just as she was going to put her foot on the first step she felt a firm hand land on her shoulder.

"What do you want?" She hissed, before turning around to look back at Ford.

"You don't understand," Ford's said slowly, and Mabel smacked his hand off of her. "Well, apparently there's a lot I don't understand." Mabel snapped back, narrowing her eyes at him.  
"Mabel... I don't want you to leave." Ford continued, "Rather the opposite really..."

\----------

"Care to explain what this was doing next to my Broken Project?!" 

Mabel dropped her half finished sweater onto the couch. She gaped for a second at the empty bag of sequins that Ford's was holding out towards her, his hands trembling slightly.   
"Look Bro... I might have gone somewhere I really shouldn't have and accidentally..."   
"This wasn't an accident Mabel!" Ford said, dropping the bag onto the floor, next to Mabel's red ball of yarn. "You did this!" He pointed his finger out towards her and she leaned back slightly. "You did this because you couldn't handle me going off to college on my own." 

"Hey... It was a mistake." She said, standing up, she held her arms open slightly, like she was going to give him a hug. "Although, if you think about it, maybe there's something to   
get outta this... Treasure hunting?"

Ford opened his mouth in shock. "This... This isn't some kind of game Mabel! Why on Earth would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my entire future?!"   
Mabel blinked hard, "Fordsy..." She started, but before she could say anything else a shadow passed over her. 

The two teenagers turned their heads to look at their father, his usual scowl even deeper than before. 

"You did what, you knucklehead?" Mabel scrambled away from her father, accidentally knocking her sweater onto the floor and stepping on it.   
"D- Dad! I have an explanation..."   
"Dad." Ford said, reaching a hand out towards his two family members. Filbrick looked over at his son and said, "Go to your room Stanford." 

Ford gulped, and stepped out of the room, past his mother, who was holding a crying Sherman. "Mom..." He said quietly, but a repetition of his father's order sent him down the hall.   
What was happening? His mind was trying to wrap itself around the events of the day. Waking up at the crack of dawn... Having Mabel wish him luck... Walking to the science hall... Getting rejected by the dean of his dream school... Finding that sack of sequins... He'd have to talk to... Oh. He couldn't just talk to Mabel anymore. She had... Ugh. This was the worst. 

Ford held his pamphlet for WCT in his hands. He stepped over to his window and saw Mabel down on the street, holding her hand up to him.   
A wave of sadness and anger rushed over him. How could Mabel, his sister, his twin, just do this to him? He had talked almost non-stop to her about the place ever since he'd gotten told about it. She knew how hard he'd worked... How could she betray him like this? 

He squeezed his eyes shut, then pulled the curtains closed. 

He climbed up onto his bed, the pamphlet laying in front of him. Normally, Mabel would tell him a funny story until he forgot all about it, but tonight...   
He held his head in his abnormal hands, and focused on not crying...

What was he going to do?

\----------

"Hey Dipper... You don't think we'll turn out Like Mabel and Ford, do you?"  
Dipper looked across the room at his twin, who was staring up at a moldy patch on the ceiling. "What do you mean?" He asked, sitting up and hanging his tired legs over the edge of his bed.  
"I mean," Stan said, copying Dipper's motion. "They used to be just like us, but then they got all stupid..."

"I- I'm sure they'll work it out." Dipper told him. "Now goodnight Stanley..."  
"Night Constellation..." Stan echoed, not feeling any better. 

Could they figure it out?

\----------

"You left me behind you dummy! You promised you'd always be there for me! You ruined my life!"

Mabel tugged at her brother's Journal, it wasn't the book that made her want to take it from him, it was pure sadness and anger. After ten years of terror and homelessness, things she'd really rather forget, her brother had wanted to see her again. 

Just to tell her to leave. 

They fought. They'd thrown punches at each other before, mainly for all those boxing lessons Ford had been forced to attend, but this was their first real fistfight.   
And Mabel was losing. 

"You ruined your own life!" Ford yelled back at her, shoving her off of him with his boot.   
And into a hot brand. 

Ford's eyes widened, he instantly dropped his foot and gasped as Mabel screamed. She'd been in pain before, but this was a new level. 

"Mabel... Oh my... What have I..." Ford was cut off by his sister's fist in his face, which threw him back. Her thin body forced itself up and clung onto her left shoulder.   
"Some brother you turned out to be..." She said, stepping towards her stunned twin, who held the Journal tightly to his chest. "You care more about your dumb science than you do your own sister..."

Ford opened his mouth, but couldn't speak. He didn't know if that was true or not.

"Well then you can have it!"

\----------

"Whoa... Where are you going?"

Mabel's body felt like trash. Her shooting star sweater had a tear in one of it's sleeves. Her mind kept circling back to Dipper and Stan are going to die, and it's all my fault. And to make things even worse, she was stuck in a prison-cell-pyramid with her brother.

"I'm going to play the only card we have left. I'm going to..." Ford looked at his sister, who stood up to join him. He swallowed and said quietly, "I'm going to give him what he wants."  
"Fordsie, he's a dream demon, keyword 'demon'. You think he's going to be nice about this?" Mabel put a hand next to Ford's, and wanted desperately to pull him into a hug.  
"No. I don't." Ford admitted, biting his lip, "But he might let Dipper and Stan live... And I have to take that risk."

"So you're just going to let him into your mind?" Mabel asked. "That sounds like a stupid plan "

"I know, I know." Ford said, sighing. "But he's only weak in the mindscape, if I didn't have this stupid plate in my head we could just erase him the moment he stepped in."  
Mabel blinked, "First off... Metal plate?! What on Earth Bro? Second, what if he went into my mind? I'm not really using that place for much."  
Ford tried to smile at her, but it didn't really work, "No offense, but there's nothing in your mind he wants... I'm sorry Mabester."

"What if he thought I was you?" Mabel asked, taking her fez off and letting her bun fall loose. "If we cut my hair and change clothes..."  
"Mabel." Ford said, but Mabel was already shrugging her sweater off.  
"We can get rid of him for good. All we have to do is..."

"Mabel!" Ford said, grabbing her shoulders before she could take anymore clothes off. "I can't let you do this. I can't lose you again!"  
Mabel sniffed, and reached forward to take his coat off. "I know. That's why we're doing this."

\----------

"This broken boat is the greatest thing I've ever seen"   
"Mabel, you once said that about a rat that ate your crayons and died in a bucket."   
"My point still stands. But I do miss my crayons..." 

"Guess who's got a date! This girl! High six?" 

"Come on Fordsie, you can hit better than that! Use those noodle arms!" 

"What do you mean we can't just eat sugar all day long? Sugar is all you need, right?"

"Come on Ford! You can figure out this problem! If anyone's going to build the first propetunal Motion gizmo, it's you!"   
"Perpetual Motion Machine Mabel."   
"Uh-huh. Tomay-to, tomah-to."

"Don't worry Mabel. We'll show those bullies who the real stupid people are. It's us forever! Pines! Pines! Pines!" 

\---------

Ironically, when you erase someone's memory, all the memories you shared together come rushing to the front of your brain.  
Stupid heart making Ford feel things.

It was strange seeing his sister look exactly like him. (It was also strange that he was wearing her clothes as well, Stan would probably never let him live this down. Must she wear skirts every day?)

When all traces of Weirdmageddon had been sucked through the rift, Ford got a chance to watch Mabel open her eyes.

She didn't recognize anyone.

Stan and Dipper rushed up to her, but Ford kept a respectful distance. He felt like he was witnessing a funeral, because he sort of was. His sister was a hero. Mabel Pines, the silly screw up, was a hero. She had saved everyone from Ford's stupid mistakes.

He kept his tears in until after he explained to the boys about what had just happened, then he flung his arms around Mabel and sobbed into her freshly cut hair.  
She stared blankly at the kids, then wrapped her arms around him, but that only made him feel worse. Even with no memories she was still Mabel.

Stanley was the one to think of her scrap book. He insisted that if she saw, she could remember. Ford didn't have the heart to tell him that that should have been impossible.  
But apparently a lot of impossible things wanted to happen that day. If only she could remember who Ford was...

\------------

"It's the sweater you were knitting for me, the... The day you... Got kicked out."

Ford handed Mabel the half finished, slightly musty red cloth. She had started at the bottom, so it had the word FORD already finished.  
"I rescued it from the trash," Ford mumbled, "I bet you could find a similar yarn and make a new one..."

"You're really my brother?" Mabel asked, rubbing the edge of the sweater and looking up into Ford's melancholy eyes. "I'm sorry I only remember the others..."  
"No. It's fine." Ford lied, and Mabel rolled her eyes.

"Seems like you didn't inherit mom's 'gift' Broseph." She said, and chuckled.

Ford's eyes widened, and he suddenly threw his arms around her. "You remembered!" He exclaimed, "That's amazing! Right Mabester?!"  
Mabel laughed, "I remember that you're a big dork." She said, "But seriously, this sweater is gross."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I have returned.   
> This is the sibling of the last chapter. Age reversal for the twins. Now Ford and Mabel are the oldies while Stan and Dipper are young un's. I actually have a full-fledged fic of this on Fanfiction.net under the same chapter title if you guys ever want to check it out.   
> Thank you to the guest who left kudos. I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this (if you have any of course). Until next time!


	9. Her exellency, the honorable, Mrs. Stanford Filbrick Pines

The world was currently a crazy place. At least for the residents of Gravity Falls. And after Dipper and Mabel had taken the memory ray the townsfolk would be forced to remember the events that transpired.

There was one thing for sure though, Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos would never forget that day. That was the day the Author of the Journals came back. The day that Stan saw his brother again. The day that... the Author brought someone with him? Alright. Maybe the world really was the craziest it had ever been.

Stan seemed to think so at least.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

He watched his brother step out of the portal, something... large in his arms. Ford's glasses were covered up by a pair of goggles, and his nose and mouth had a black cloth on them. But Stan was having a hard time seeing both, his view being blocked by a head. He watched in silent fascination as Ford bent down a bit, and let the second person's feet hit the floor so they could stand, then draw himself up to his full height.

"I could have walked." The figure said, and Stan was shocked to hear that it was a woman. Ford nodded, pulling his mask off. "I know." He said, and Stan felt... betrayed and happy. Happy because he was hearing his brother, but sad because his brother was talking to someone other than him. The woman, who had also worn a mask but had now copied Ford's action, glared at Stan's brother. "Then why did you carry me?!"

Ford shrugged, "Tradition. This is technically..." His sentence failed as the woman took a step forward, lifting her arms and looking like she was going to hug Ford. "Oh really? Is this like your other tradition where-"

"What on Earth is happening here?!" Stan asked, staring between his brother, and his brother's friend. "Who's the lady? Uh... And... I'm sorta here you... nice person." Stan decided that calling Ford names wasn't going to help anybody, and he almost breathed a sigh of relief when Ford and the woman looked over at Stan. But his relief faded as the soft smile Ford was wearing vanished.

Ford stepped away from his friend, and stepped towards Stan, his expression getting harder with every step. Then, in a flash, his fist flew out, pale in comparison to his black coat, and hit Stanley square on the jaw. The pain that exploded from the impact nearly sent Stan to the ground, but he held his head high, and did little more than snap out, "OW! What on Earth was that for?!"

The look Ford was giving Stan made him feel like acid was being forced down his throat. His brother, his twin, looked like he wanted to murder Stan, and all he could do was watch as Ford spat, "This was an insanely risky move Stan! Do you know what restarting the portal could have caused?!" Stan blinked at his twin, bandaged hand resting on his (soon to be bruised) jaw. "No I don't. I mean, besides bring my psycho brother and his girlfriend back! Speaking of girlfriend... What the heck man!?"

Ford now looked like he had been the one to get punched. If Stan didn't know any better he'd say that Ford's cheeks flushed a bit. There was quiet in the basement, until a soft laugh from behind Ford grabbed Stan's attention. The laugh swelled, and a gloved hand landed on Ford's shoulder. "Girlfriend? Girlfriend?! Stanley, I am his wife, unless the past five years have all been a daydream..."

That was when Stan dropped to the ground and nearly passed out, a look of disgust on his hurt face.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

The universe around him seemed to be spiraling out of control. Or maybe it was just Ford's complete lack of balance. He found himself feeling the urge to antiquate his face with the floor, and prayed to... something that he wouldn't lose his hard earned lunch. 

Whatever planet he was on seemed to give a shake, and he fell to the blue ground a moment later. The resulting tremors let him decide to just stay there. His face might hurt, but his feet were thanking him for getting off of them. His boots might be comfortable, but they didn't stop him from overusing his poor feet. 

That was the first time he ever heard her voice. 

It had an echo, that was both familiar and completely foreign. It possessed a sort of sarcasm that Ford found himself craving (he'd grown up with someone who had that. It was rare to hear Stan sound... truthful). Ford instantly felt... comforted and intimidated by her saying, "Hey, if you're gonna lie on the floor, make sure there's enough room for at least two. Move over buddy." 

Fighting off nausea Ford tilted his head up and stared into the face of the woman who had spoken. What he was met with was the barrel of a gun, hexagonal in shape, and if he   
focused he could see a tiny green glow in the back. His breath hitched in his throat, and he reached with his right hand to his hip, where his own triangular gun was located. 

The woman laughed again, and Ford would have looked up to see her, but his eyes were already strained just looking at her blaster. The barrel was slowly being dropped, as the laugh grew louder. "Man. No wonder Bill wants you. You're pathetic." 

The ground under Ford seemed to give another shake, but he pushed himself up on his arms. "So let me get this straight." He said, looking up at her, "You're... not going to shoot me?" The woman, whose skin was a warm grey, nodded. "It appears so." She said, and Ford pushed himself up into a full kneel. "And you're... going to take me to Cipher?" 

The woman let out another laugh. "Take you to... Krazden, d'ya think I got a death wish? No!" She reached a hand out to him, and said, "If you're... what are you? A moose? Was that what you guys are called?" Ford opened his mouth, both in shock, and to tell her what he really was, but before he could she said, "You know what. It's not important. What's wrong with you by the way? You look like you were ready to hibernate! And bad." 

Ford caught himself staring at her hand, before taking it and saying, "Uh... I'm... What?" 

"Oh, don't worry about the whole 'words' thing. I have that effect on men."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

There were absolutely no words that could describe how Stan was feeling right at that moment. Ford looked over at the woman (his wife... Ford had a... he had married...) and hissed, "Not right now. I need to be angry at him."

"You've waited to yell at him for thirty years. I've never met him before. It's my turn." The woman (Mrs. Pines. There was another Mrs. Pines... not just Dipper and Mabel's mom...). "And I think I broke him. He's going to probably go hibernate..." Her silver eyes looked up, and seemed to notice something behind Stan. "Hey Ford... Are those small humans, or are they just far away?"

For the first time in a while Ford looked away from her, and looked at the same place that his wife (Nope. Not going to think about that) was looking. "Oh those are definitely children-"

"Oh my morality! Infantile humans are so adorable!" Mrs. Pines exclaimed. "Are they as easy to break as normal humans? Can they speak? How does their diet differ? Can I pet one?"

Whereas Stan seemed weirded out, and even a bit disgusted at her words, Ford just rolled his eyes, a grin breaking out on his face. "Calm down. All will be explained. And do you really think I'd let you pet a sentient being?" He glared over at her, not the same type of glare he would send Stan, but one that had... love? in it. Stan found himself slightly jealous of her.

"You let me pet your fluffy mess." She said, sending him a look that Stan had never seen before. As she said that, she reached out a hand and raised it above Ford's head. Ford rolled his eyes, and said, "To be fair, I was unconscious." Her eyes lit up, and she asked, "So... When they're sleeping?" Ford opened his mouth to respond, but it was at that moment that Stan found his voice. "You will not be petting Dipper and Mabel! That's just weird!"

The two portal people (portal couple? Portal... alright. Stan needed some sort of mind eraser now) shared a look, then they both laughed. "Oh my, Stanley..." Ford said in between chuckles. Stan's conflicting thoughts grew even more complex. On one hand his brother was laughing... at him. On the other, his brother was laughing at him. That sort of stuff.

"Wow. Because nothing weird has ever happened to this family." the woman said, placing a hand on her hip. Stan bit his lip, wishing to go back in time, just a few minutes. But everyone knew that time travel was impossible.

All Stan could do was watch as the weird space lady stepped past him, Ford in tow, and walked towards two of the three people that meant the world to Stan. Mabel didn't seem at all worried, in fact, she stepped right on up to the two of them, and held out her hand. "Hi! I'm Mabel." she said, her usual enthusiasm a bit dimmed by confusion.

Ford grasped her hand briefly, "Stanford Pines." he said as released it. Mabel smiled at him, fullhearted and raw, then her confusion returned. "Stanford? But... Grunkle Stan is... What?" He threw a glance at Stan, who froze, wincing and rubbing the back of his neck with his injured hand. The look of shock and anger that Ford sent him made Stan feel a million times worse, but he forced himself to stand there silently.

"You're the Author... The Author of the Journals!" Stan was saved from his twin's inevitable rant by his nephew's fanboying. Ford now looked at Dipper, and his light blush returned. 

"You read my Journals?" he asked, and Dipper nodded vigorously. "I haven't just read them..." Dipper said, and began to ramble on to Ford about how he had found them, and how they had changed his life. Ford grew a deer in the headlights look, while his wife (still not going to think about that) stepped to the side with Mabel.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Mabel stared in wonder at the two 'newest' members of her family. After nearly an entire summer of waiting, she now knew who the Author of Dipper's Journal was. Grunkle Stan's twin brother Stanford. Which meant that the Author was... her Grunkle! She had another Grunkle! One who was cool and wrote nerd books! This day was actually pretty great!

And another thing, he had a wife! She had a great-aunt! The new Mrs. Pines stepped off to the side as Dipper began to ramble about the Journals to the Author, who seemed to be content with the young man's expeditions.

"Wow. And here I thought Sixes here was the nerdiest person in the Multiverse." Mrs. Author said with a wink to Mabel. Mabel shrugged, "Who knows. Dipper's been thinking about this day for months now. He'll calm down once he drains his resources." Mrs. Author nodded, and said, "Well, it's about time Ford got a new friend."

Mabel tilted her head at the sad tone her aunt possessed. "What are you talking about?" she asked, and her aunt sighed. Her neon purple eyes flashed over to Dipper and Ford, who were now chatting about some other geeky topic, and then went back to Mabel. "We've been alone for so long... Although he may deny it, he's been craving the kind of bond that can only be shared by two nerdy men."

Mabel nodded, glancing at her brother, who was currently pulling out his backpack and grabbing a notebook. "Yeah. I'm just happy that now I get two Grunkles! And a great-aunt... Graunt! Grauntie... Sorry... I don't know your name." Her Graunt flashed her a smile, then said in a low voice, "My name is Avatar 111618. But you may call me Ava."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Ford threw a glance at his 'captor'. The woman had dragged him away from his hiding place, and without even telling him where they were going started leading him in a seemingly random direction. The only words he got from here were "Just try to keep up, will ya?" Man that sounded familiar. 

So he followed her in near silence, his queasy stomach preventing him from doing much besides focus on keeping his balance.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't long before the two of them began to talk. It turned out that the place she was leading Ford to was another wormhole, one that she practically shoved him through. As soon as Ford came out on the other side he felt better, and his head seemed to stop spinning. Wherever they had been he was sure he didn't want to go back. 

"Do you like the view? This type of dimension is particularly beautiful this time of year." Ford turned to his new 'friend', and shrugged. "I was actually just enjoying the feeling of not wanting to throw up every couple of seconds." he answered truthfully. She laughed, and there was a sound in it that Ford just felt... comfortable in. "I don't know what 'throw up' is. But that sounds awful." she said, taking a few steps towards the edge of the cliff they were now standing on. 

That was when Ford got his first glance at the place they were in. Rose gold mountains surrounded them at every angle, with a silver sun slipping under a few of the tallest ones.   
There was no vegetation anywhere in sight, only a furry like substance underneath their feet. Ford watched as his strange companion sat down on the cliff's edge, swinging her legs out over the ledge. 

Ford joined her a moment later, staring into the surprisingly dim sunset. "What dimension is this?" he breathed, feeling a cool wind run through his hair, ruffling the stands and making him pull his coat closer to himself. The woman looked over at him and answered, "Its a mountain dimension. To be more specific, J-207." She sighed, leaning back on her hands, which propped her up, and stared out at the range in front of them. "I like to come to places like this every now and then. It helps me... just live. What with being hunted by Kill that is." 

After nodding, Ford seemed to hear the last part of her sentence. "Wait. What? You're being hunted by Bill as well?" He looked over at her, her grey skin reflecting a bit of the pink surrounding them. "Not Bill Cipher, Kill Cipher. They're... separate. Yet the same. He's more... trigger happy than his yellow counterpart." She laughed softly, then whispered, "And Bill's bad enough as it is."

All Ford could think of doing was stare at her. She looked back at his stunned face and said, "You thought you had the only Bill in the Multiverse? Ha! You're just as self-absorbed as they said you were! But don't worry wise guy, he's the only Bill you've got to worry about. There are literally billions of you out trying to destroy the rest." 

He shook his head, then said in a whisper, "How foolish of me to think that he was the only one... But certainly not every Stanford can defeat their Bill... They'll all need help..." 

"Look, Ford, I've already met some Bill-crazy versions of you. Don't worry, once they make sure that the last one is taken care of they'll probably start shooting up textbooks and pyramids or something." his companion said, smiling at him with a tinge of melancholy. "And then there's the rest o you. Man, how many universes are there? Well, hundreds are born every day, maybe even thousands, or millions. So there's a lot. Most of them are sealed off, but some aren't. Capiche?"

He nodded, once again looking back over the cliffs. "I'm sorry... I don't think I've learned your name. You obviously know mine..." he said, glancing over at her purple eyes, which were watching him with a sort of fascination he didn't know was possible. "Oh me... I'm... Well... That doesn't matter. Just call me 16."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Ford never noticed it happening. It was a funny joke she would say that he would laugh at, a playful punch when he said something idiotic. The way her dark silver hair caught the sun when it was wet, the light in her eyes when she looked at him. The corners of her mouth constantly twitching up into a smile that said that she knew everything about him. The way she always grabbed his hand whenever they were in an even mildly dangerous situation. 

The feeling he got in his chest whenever they were sitting next to each other on some alien bus, or lying on the ground under alien stars at night, and she rested her head on his shoulder, either telling him some strange story, or drifting off into some much needed sleep. 

His mother had always told him that chocolate and kissing were the way to a girl's heart, but Ford was now pretty sure that it was actually arguing. 

He found himself simply watching her, like she was one of the anomalies that he used to study. Once when she caught him doing such an action she teased him for a week straight, but there was no denying the way her cheeks flushed a bit once she saw him. Ford was also convinced that she watched him, something that people had done already, but their watching had mostly been limited to his hands. 

Ford knew that they could carry on like that for forever. He couldn't say that he was content with the situation they were in, but he also couldn't say that he wanted to be the one to change it.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"16! Run!" Ford had almost lost track of how many times he'd told her that over the last year of their travels. It seemed like every other day they were being ambushed by bounty hunters (some of which 16 knew, since she used to be one herself). And even though she insisted that she could handle herself, he told her anyway. 

Maybe it was foolish pride, maybe it was his own hero complex, maybe it was the pit in his stomach that opened up whenever he thought about her getting hurt, but Ford kept repeating it to her whenever they were in danger. 

"Me run?! What about you!?" She yelled at him, dashing backwards towards him, firing her gun at the two turquoise gorilla-like monsters that were after them. "I'll be fine!" Ford yelled back, taking a shot at the monsters with his own weapon. "It's you I'm worried about!" 

16 looked over at him for a second, before blasting off another round. "That's real sweet ya'know! But utterly stupid! I can handle-" Before she could say another word one of the two monsters gave a roar that threatened to damage Ford's hearing, caught up with 16, and swung a huge claw at her arm, slicing through the grey skin, and ripping the bottom of her right arm completely off. 16 let out an anguished cry, her weapon hand falling to the floor with a strange clatter. 

Instead of letting the monster get ahold of 16, Ford fired a shot with hit the monster right on its masked face. The being let out an unearthly howl and clawed at its face, while Ford dashed towards it and scooped 16 up in his arms. 

"I can walk you idiot!" she said to him, looking very much like she couldn't. Ford didn't bother to heed her, choosing instead to dash forward, outpacing the monsters that wer following them. "Shut up and let me save you!" he told her after she started to raise another objection. 

He ran full speed towards a blue wormhole that was growing in front of them, daring to glance behind him for a mere millisecond he saw that the two creatures were right on their tail. Taking a deep breath he jumped straight into the vortex, feeling it slide shut behind him. 

They fell a few feet onto a rugged surface, Ford tripping and falling on top of 16. He immediately pushed himself off of her, and stared down in horror at her, breathing heavily. "Oh my goodness, are you alright?" he asked, moving to kneel in front of her. 

"Does it look like I'm okay?!" she snapped, holding up her stub of a right arm. "I got my crazing arm torn off! My internal wires are showing!" Ford's eyes widened at the sight, not just because her arm was half gone, but because what he was seeing wasn't flesh and blood, but sparking wires and metal. 

A darkness seemed to overwhelm him. "You... You're a cyborg." he said, watching her hug her wounded arm close to her chest. 16 rolled her purple eyes, and said, "No. I'm not a cyborg Ford." His mind drew a blank for a moment, then he said in a hushed voice, "You're a robot..." 

The laugh that came from 16 made Ford feel like curling up and shutting down. "I'm not a robot Stanford, do you think I don't have emotions? I'm an android got it?" She stared right into his eyes, and Ford suddenly felt completely stupid. Then a dawning realization passed over him, and he sat back and stared at her. "I've fallen for an android... Stan was right." 

"What in the crazin' Multiverse are you talking about?" 16 asked, blinking at him. "Wait. You've fallen for me? I'm not the only one!? I've fallen for a moose!" she laughed when he sent her a pained look, then said, "Well... it's about time we said that. I'd ask you if you want to make out, but you don't seem to be the type. Let's just get married!" 

What had Ford just gotten himself into? 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

One half tragic backstory later found Mabel standing next to her freshly dubbed 'Grauntie Ava', gripping her grey hand, which clung tightly to hers as well, as if the young girl might dissolve into thin air if she let go for even a nanosecond. "This story is so sad!" Mabel said, holding her free hand to her face and glancing between her two Grunkles. "I know what you two broken teacups need to do... Hug it out!" She beamed at the two old men, who didn't even look at her, choosing instead to stare off at their separate ends of the room.

"Come on guys!" Mabel said, waving her hand towards them. "Come on Grauntie Ava! Make Great uncle Stanford hug Grunkle Stan or something!" She threw a pleading look at her, but Ava shook her head. "No can do Mooseling." she said, earning her a confused expression from Mabel. "I can barely get Sixes to hug me, and I'm his wife." She cast a sad look at her husband and brother, and added in a low voice, "Plus, I'm not quick to be happy about Stan's attitude anyway. I mean, he is the one who pushed Ford through in the first place..."

Mabel's jaw dropped at that statement. "He what?!" She asked, gaining her her Grunkles' attention once more. Ford sent his brother another glare, and said, "Yes. That was the course of events that brought us here... Care to explain Stanley?"

Stan shuffled a bit, then began to rattle on again about his life, with Ford's slightly disapproving, however intrigued eyes watching his every movements, hanging off of every word. Ford had obviously not heard this side of the story.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"So... What's your real name?" 

Ford's wife (he had a wife... that was a crazy thought... a wife... his father had been right about him, just not the suit) looked over at him, twisting wires into the stub of her arm. Since they'd had their hasty wedding (something Ford promised himself he would never willingly remember. Just don't ask tiny hamsters to do it for you, no matter how free it is) she'd been working on replacing the arm she had lost. 

"Oh me? What makes you think that I've never told you my name?" 16 picked her pair of pliers back up, and made a quick movement to twist two more wires together. Ford sighed, then said, "Well, as I recall, you told me that I could call you 16, implying that that name was not what everyone calls you. I wouldn't just tell you to call me Stanford, because that's my name." 

He sat down next to her, reaching over her lap to grab on to the skeletal frame of her new arm, when she looked over at him he stared into her eyes and asked, "And... since I am your husband don't I possess a right to know your name? It is a key part of your being you know." 

Her purple irises fell from his eyes. "No it's not." she whispered, looking at his six fingered hand, which was now placing parts where they needed to go so she could simply fasten them in place. "My name is just like everyone else's from my dimension." 

Ford nodded, but pointed out, "Well, you're the only person from your dimension I've met. So it'll be special to me. Isn't that all that matters?" She sighed (however androids sigh) and said in a quiet voice, "Fine Stanford. My name is Avatar 111618." 

She sighed again when Ford said in an equally quiet voice, "Well... wouldn't you like another name. A name that's not just a number... How about... Tar?" He winked at her when she sent him a hurt look. "Tar? What do you think I am, a sidewalk?" She laughed as he shook his head and grabbed her remaining hand. "No, of course not my dear... I was just hoping you'd choose your own name. I'll call you whatever you want." 

"How about... her most supreme excellency, the great and humble, and mighty, and wonderous, and stupendous, wife." she said, leaning towards him, her unassembled arm completely forgotten. Ford rolled his eyes, and said, "You seriously expect me to call you that? I'd prefer Tar." She rolled her eyes, nuzzling his cheek his her nose, "Fine... I guess just Avatar would work... Or how 'bout... 

"Ava."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

When Ava heard Ford laughing in another part of the basement, she knew that something was up. She never heard Ford laugh when she wasn't the one making him do so, and it had been so long since he'd found anything truly humorous in their day to day lives. Sure he was still a goofball, full of energy and ready to make her shake her head at him in frustration at a moment's notice, but when he was alone he was suspiciously quiet.

Which made it even more suspicious when his chuckles made their way to her overly sensitive ears.

Dropping the screwdriver that she was currently deconstructing the portal with, she made her way towards her husband's voice. Sliding the door open she was met with the sight of at least a dozen or more sheets of graph paper lying disorderly on the ground, and Ford and Dipper sitting crosslegged in the middle of the floor, Dipper staring at two dice.

Her nephew's eyes flew up, and he gasped, "Great aunt Ava! Uh... We were just... We're..." He glanced at his uncle for moral support, and Ford turned his smiling face towards his wife. "Ava! Just in time. Dipper and I were just starting a Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons campaign! I would have asked if you'd like to join us sooner... but I'm afraid that I was a little distracted. There's still time." He smiled at her, and she raised her eyebrows. "Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons... I didn't know you were the type IQ." She looked at their board, then down at Dipper, and said, "You know, I think I'll sit this one out. Give you two dorks some one on one time... See ya."

She stepped over the game pieces and walked towards the door, where she halted for a moment, turning back to Ford and Dipper and adding, "Oh, by the way, this better all be put away before nightfall, or you'll be sleeping on the couch." Dipper blinked at her, while Ford let out a hearty laugh. "Jokes on you 16, I already sleep on the couch!"

Ava smiled at him, "I know you do. First order of business one we get some of that mon-ay that you've spoken about, we're getting a mattress. Preferable a water one, if they still make those."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

As it turned out, the Mystery Shack was something that Ava actually kind of enjoyed. Stan had grumbled something about how 'he should get everyone he could get free labor out of to do so', and hired Ava right on spot. Ford raised a couple of objections, but they were overruled by his wife, brother, and niece.

The mysterious robot lady actually did earn Stan a bit of revenue, and he gave his sister-in-law a fraction of the earnings. Admittedly $10 wasn't that much, but she didn't know the difference between that and Fort Knox.

So Ava was completely on Stan's side when he decided to run for mayor. Which led to some... mixed reception from Ford.

"Stanley, as in, my brother Stanley, is running for mayor? What kind of crazy world is this?"

The look on Ford's face told Ava everything that she needed to know about how he felt about this situation. At his question she shrugged, gave a blunt answer of "Yours" and let the two of them fall into silence. Ava rubbed the back of her neck, a nearly palpable tension in the air. "So..." she said a minute later, watching him blink at her. "I was thinking about helping him..."

Ford bit his lip, an obvious 'No' forming on his lips, then he sighed, long and loud, as if he wanted to put a sense of shame in her. "Understandable. I'm afraid I cannot dictate your actions, you must choose them yourself."

Ava raised her eyebrows, "Um... Okay..? So... It's okay that I go help Stan?" Ford furrowed his own brow, and said in an explanatory tone, "Yes. You're an adult, as I said, I cannot make decisions for you. I would prefer that you didn't, but in the end it's your decision." He nodded once at her, then turned back to his desk, his Journal open in front of him.

"Wow," Ava said, taking a step forward and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Human's really are weird." She pressed a kiss on his hair and whispered, "Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't break too many laws in the process. Love you." She rubbed his shoulder, then turned around, walking out of the room. Ford called out after her, "Did you just sniff my hair?" Ava giggled, and answered with a "Maybe" and a smile.

Ford shook his head at her, "I will never understand that woman." he mumbled to himself, a smile tugging on his lips.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

One morning when Ava woke up she saw her husband already up. Now that wasn't as unusual as some might think, her techo-organic body needing only half the amount of sleep that a normal human needed. But what was odd was what Ford was doing with his alone time. There were piles of papers everywhere, again, a normal occurrence, Ford was hastily organizing them and muttering something about stupid people. Everything about this was reading 'average Tuesday'.

She propped herself up on one arm and said in an unused voice, "Moose? What's wrong?" The eyes that met hers a second later had a tiny bit of terror in them, but that quickly melted away. "Oh, it's nothing." he said, gathering up the rest of the papers with little care for the order they were placed in. "Just that if we don't act quickly Bill will enter into our dimension. That's all."

A sleepy nod came from Ava, and she yawned out, "I'm sure you can handle it IQ. You got your brain, your wife, your brother, your nephew and niece. Oh! And Soos. Don't forget the rodent guy." Ford shot her a small smile, and said, "Yes. I've got all of those... And what do you have?"

"A stupidly genius husband who needs to sleep every now and then." she answered, sitting all the way up and getting off of their shared couch bed. "Seriously, you went to sleep after I did, and my boy automatically wakes me up after my four hours are up." She stepped up to him and reached out to take his glasses off. "I don't want you to crash in the middle of the day."

"I'll be fine." he said, grabbing onto her wrists and guiding his glasses back on. His wife rolled her eyes, "Uh-huh." she said in a slightly scolding tone, not dropping her arms she leaned forward, closing her eyes and filling the space in between their faces. "You're so-"

"Grunkle Ford! Grauntie Ava! You'll never guess what Dipper- OMG!" The sound of their niece's voice broke off their physical connection, but not before a loud 'Click!' echoed through the room. "You two were kissing! Dipper! Grunkle Stan! Come get a look at this!"

The two of them turned their heads just in time to see Mabel, still in her pale purple nightgown, dash away from their newly opened door. The sound of Stan's "Nope! Nope! Nope! Not gonna think about that!" filled the halls, while Dipper cried out in anguish, "Mabeelll, why would you show me this... Ugh! It's weirder than I thought!"

Ford's face was turning beet red. "I'll... just get dressed?" Ava said, taking a step back from him. Ford held his head in his hands and stared at the floor. "It's just like my dream with Bill..." He mumbled to himself, while walking out of the room. Ava gave him a flash of concern, which he didn't see, then let him exit their room.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"And who crashed in the middle of the day?"  
"I crashed in the middle of the day."  
"And what did it end up causing?"  
"The destruction of Project Mentum."  
"And what are we doing next time your wife tells you to sleep?"  
"Ignoring her again."

Ava laughed, shoving Ford's shoulder with her hand, Dipper stared at the two of them, a look of confusion on his face. "Okay... So I don't want to know." he said, shrinking back in his chair, taking a sip of his drink. Ava laughed, looking over at him. "Of course you don't. Can you believe that this man had less than four hours of sleep last night? And we weren't even being chased!"

Ford rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I had a dream with Bill in it. Normally I get at least five hours..." He said, and Ava nodded. "Understandable. But then you explain what's going on to your poor paranoid nephew." She waved at Dipper, who shrank back even more. "I'm not paranoid..." he said quietly, which brought out a laugh from both his uncle and aunt.

"Sorry kid," Ford said, reaching out and patting his hat, "But unfortunately you are. Don't worry, you come from a long line of paranoid geniuses. Me, you... Yeah, that's long." He threw his nephew a smile, and said, "Don't worry Dipper, you're not the first one to get tricked by Bill. But hopefully we're the last."

Dipper looked up at him, gulped and said, "Yeah, but I destroyed the machine... So we'll still be exposed to Bill-"

"Did someone say Unicorn Hair?!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Ava watched most of her family, and a few of their friends, drive away in the rv Stan had somehow aquired. She looked over at her husband, who was watching them with a blank face. "So we're just going to let them go?! But what about Bi-"

"They'll be fine." Ford said, crossing his arms and staring dully at the rear end of the camper. "You know that extra unicorn hair we had remaining? Well I took the precaution of lining the rv with it, along with the extra moonstone and mercury we had. I told Stan that they all needed to sleep inside of the rv, and if he listens to me for once they'll be perfectly safe." Ava shook her head at him, "You're truly the evil genius of the family. You know that he's not going to listen to you."

Ford sighed as Ava rested her head on his shoulder. "Yes I do, but Dipper will, so I also told him. Hopefully he remembers, and gets Mabel to do the same." Ava hummed in agreement. She looked up at him, and said, "Well then Mr. Pines. We have the place to ourselves now. Want to do something fun?" She wrapped her arms around him, and he said, "As long as said fun has to do with taking out all the metal from the basement and taking it to the dump, then yes."

His sentence earned him an exasperated sigh from his wife. "Wow. I really did marry a nerd. And a geeky one at that." She lifted her head up, and was about to bring them into another kiss when a voice cried out, "Oh man! We nearly forgot the cooler-" A loud gasp passed through the room, and the two of them looked over at the voice. "Grunkle Stan! Dipper! They're making out again!"

"Nope. We're going to be monks from now on." Ford said, wiggling out of his wife's grasp and running a hand through his hair. "I'm going to the basement. And staying there. Even if crazy people come and vandalize the whole place!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Ava sat across the table from Stan. The man was engrossed in his newspaper, or at least that was what he wanted his sister to think. Ava fiddled with a few strands of her hair, and looked like she was trying to muster up the courage to do something.

Finally what she'd been trying to do spilled out of her mouth, "You know, I've been working on Stanford to get him to let you stay here. I personally am... well... I don't know what this place was like pre-Mystery Shack, but I think he's been overreacting. He normally doesn't act like that."

Stan glared up at her, "Yeah yeah, whatever. Water under the bridge and all that." He waved a hand at her and returned to his paper. Ava sighed, then placed a hand on the paper. "Stanley, I've literally been here a few weeks, and you barely act like I'm here. Come on man! I helped you almost become Mayor, then I've been working as your robot thing, which is close to reality. Is there something you want to tell me?"

There was a tired look in Stan's face, and he brushed her hand away. "I'm just mad because some alien-robot lady is closer to my twin brother than I am! Okay?!" He snapped the paper shut and slammed it down on the table. "You know what? I don't want to talk about this. Mabel's been up in her room for a while, I'm gonna check on her." He stood up and pushed himself past Ava. "See ya Aves."

Ava just watched him go, she sighed and hissed "Men" under her breath.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"Stanford Filbrick Pines! What in the Multiverse did you do?!" Ava pointed up at the hole in the sky which had opened up above the forest. Ford shook his head and snapped, "I didn't do anything. It was a simple mistake. All that matters right now is stopping Bill. Then after we do that we'll get Mabel and everything will go back to normal!"

Ava stared at him, her mouth hanging open. "Okay. What?!" She grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her. "Stanford Pines, where is my niece?!" Ford sighed, then said, "I don't know, but Bill did something-"

"I'm going to kill that triangle!" Ava spat, but Ford shook his head. "I'm going to kill that triangle, you'll just come with-" Again Ava interrupted. "Oh yeah? Who decided to actually spend time with everyone? Me! Who helped Stan with his campain? Me! Who stayed up to two AM making finger puppets? Who was it? Oh yeah! Me again!" She poked a finger in his stomach and added, "And who's going to make sure that freak doesn't hurt my family? Me!"

Ford sighed, grabbing her hands, "Well... If you insist, you can go save Mabel while I go take care of Bill." Ava snarled at him, "Sounds like a plan! I'm going to get Stan to help me too."

"Fine!"  
"You're fine!"  
"Just take care of yourself!  
"You're the one fighting a" demon!"  
"Whatever Mrs. Technical."  
"Don't forget who made me that!"

"Ugh! Will you two just kiss and do your job!" Dipper yelled at the two of them. He pointed at the X and said, "There happens to be an apocalypse out there we need to deal with. Let's just go!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------

In the end, Ava actually didn't end up finding Mabel, what she did find was Old Man McGucket, who practically dragged her back to the Shack. After having been alone for a few days Ava found herself completely ready to go back to a place that was actually safe. She chilled with Stan, helping out all of the people who had been brought with McGucket.  
When the kids showed up she was overjoyed. Until she noticed who wasn't there.

"Wait. Where's Ford?" She asked, after getting Mabel to let go of her. Mabel looked over at her brother, who sagged his shoulders and looked down at the ground. "Bill got him. He... he didn't get him with the Quantum Destabilizer..." He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his middle. "Bill turned him into a statue... and then took him to the Fearamid."

"Serves him right." Stan said, butting into their conversation. The other members of his family gasped, along with several bystanders. "My brother's had some stupid ideas, but this was his stupidest yet."

Ava grit her teeth together. How on Earth could she get Stan to do what she wanted him to? A plan formed in her head, and she was half grateful for her fear and dread or she would have smiled widely. "Well then," she said, placing a hand on her hip as she turned towards her brother-in-law. "I guess you'll just have to help me raise this kid then."

A silence fell through the room. Mabel and Dipper's mouth dropped wide open, and Stan stared at her like she had grown an extra head. "A what?"

"Congrats Stan. You're an uncle." She said, folding her arms and sending him a death glare. "And unless you want to be responsible for the death of the father..." She let her sentence trail off, what she had said speaking for what she hadn't. Stan just blinked at her.

"Dude! We've got to save Grunkle Ford!" Mabel said, standing in front of Ava, "For love! For family! For this strange kid which I've already named Nugget!" At first she was met with silence, but then Stan sat down on a chair in shock, and the tv turned on. The other townsfolk were met with a recording of their family and friends mushed together in a stone chair of human horror.

Needless to say, McGucket instantly started designing the robot.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

When Ford woke up, for the... twelfth time? Something like that, he was met with the faces of his nephew, niece, brother, and wife. He breathed a sigh of relief and nearly shouted, "Kids! Oh I knew you could do it!" He reached down and picked both of them up. Mabel laughed, "Yeah we could! We had to rescue the lucky guy." She smiled at him, then sent a wink over to her Graunt, who looked... scared.

"Oh I am lucky, I have no idea what I've done to deserve the two of you." he said, placing them back down on the ground. Mabel giggled again, elbowing her brother in the side. "Tell him Dipper!" she said, glancing back at Ava and giving her a thumbs up. Ava gulped, as Dipper said, "Well... Uh... You see... When two people love each other very much..."

"You're going to be a dad!" Mabel said, flinging her arms around Ford's legs. "Congratulations Grunkle Ford! I'm so happy for you!"

At any other time Stan would have laughed at the look Ford got. "Uh... Mabel, I don't know how you got that impression..." Ford said, pushing her gently away from him. "That's... Not how Ava's species work... In order for me to be a father... Well..." A blush deeper than one Stan had ever seen on his face appeared, while Mabel stared at him speechless. "But- But- Grauntie Ava said so..."

Ava and Ford's eyes clashed, and Ava said, "Well... I had to get Stan on our side somehow... What was one little-"

"So you're not pregnant?!" Stan asked, staring at his sister in shock. "Now I haven't been around a lot of pregnant ladies, but you pulled it off. You tricked me!" At first there was anger in his voice and eyes, but that slowly melted away. "Wait... You tricked me... Ford, you found a gem. You lucky duck! You know Ava you remind me of my ex-wife..."

"What's this about Sixer being a dad? What 'Wife'? I want all of the wedding photos!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This was originally posted on Fanfiction.net, and recently I've gotten more into fics on AO3, so I decided to go for it. My goal has been to have this on another site and decided to go for it with this one.  
> Hopefully I've been doing this right. It's simple, yet complicated. Especially moving a fic over from another site. I hope you guys liked it! 
> 
> (Btw, I'm... uh... not Alex Hirsch. Just wanted to clear that up for you guys before it gets too weird).


End file.
